(A/N: Just to warn you...there is a good chance you may need a tissue for this. I know that I did while writing it.)
Chapter 19 – When Celebration Becomes SorrowThere are so many things that we should be celebrating right now. My daughter's birthday, Darlene's impending nuptials, the recent birth of Lisa's son. Yet there is no celebration. There is no joy in the Bunch family...
...because one of us is no longer here.
Monday was Elysia's fifth birthday, a day that came with much eager anticipation. As had become our custom we kept things simple, just a small family party with cake and (per Elysia's request) plenty of chocolate ice cream. She dressed up in her favorite outfit and couldn't wait to blow out the candles.
My gosh, she looks so much like her mother.
The celebration was short-lived. That night while we were eating supper my pager unexpectedly went off, which startled me slightly since I wasn't on-call. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the hospital dispatcher. There had to be some sort of mistake.
“Sacred Spleen Emergency Department.”“Hey, it's Ethan. I think you got the wrong pager. I'm not on-call tonight,” I explained to the dispatcher.
“Doctor Wolff was the one who told me to call you specifically. We have a critical cardiac case that's being brought into the emergency room as we speak.”“Is that Ethan?” That was Morgana's voice.
“Yes, ma'am.” I heard a brief rustling sound as the dispatcher handed over the phone.
“Ethan, it's Morgana. You need to get down here immediately.” She paused.
“The cardiac case that's being brought in...it's your father.”I nearly dropped the phone.
“I'm on my way.”
I ran for the door, only barely stopping long enough to briefly tell Holly what was happening.
The drive to the hospital never felt so slow, yet I knew I was speeding (and hoping that there weren't any police officers around to catch me). I raced into the emergency room just as the paramedic team was bringing him in. My eyes instantly honed in on the EMT pushing the gurney; it was my future brother-in-law, and from the look of fear in Malcolm's eyes...this was not a good situation.
“He went into v-fib on us twice on the way here,” Jane (the other paramedic) stated. “We managed to shock him back, but the heartbeat is still irregular. No respiration”
“Get him into room 3 and continue ventilation,” Morgana ordered. “Doctor Morita, prepare the surgery team in case we need to go in for an open heart.”
“Done.”
A high-pitched alarm sounded from the heart monitor just as they got my father into the room. I glanced at the readout long enough to see that his heartbeat had ceased entirely. In the back of my mind I knew that his chances of pulling through this were slim and dwindling even more with each tick of the clock.
Morgana didn't miss a beat. “Malcolm, begin chest compressions. Jane, check his airway and continue ventilation. Doctor Bunch, get me 1 mg epinephrine and charge the defibrillator, stat!” Without hesitation I handed her the syringe and she administered the injection straight into his heart. No change. She grabbed the defibrillator paddles as I flipped the charge switch. “On three, stop compressions. One, two, three, clear!” Everyone moved out of the way as Morgana released the electrical charge.
No heartbeat.
“Come on, Jack...come on!” The defibrillator charged for a second time. “One, two, three, clear!”
The monitor displayed a flat line. Absently I checked for a pulse that I knew would not be there, choking back tears as Morgana turned off the defibrillator. It was over. There was nothing more that could be done.
“T...time of death?”
“Eight forty-nine.”
Dad was gone. I took his hand and just held it, letting the tears flow unchecked down my face. At this point I just didn't care. I was a doctor, a professional, but I was his son first. I felt a hand on my shoulder as Morgana came up behind me. “Do you want me to go speak to your family?” Adamantly I shook my head.
“No,” I quietly replied. “This...needs to come from me.”
It was the hardest thing that I have ever done, walking through the door to the waiting room knowing that what I was about to say would bring unimaginable grief to the people whom I cared about the most. What little composure I had began to crumble when I saw my mother and youngest brother sitting there in silence, fear and uncertainty clearly visible on their faces. Mom stood up as I approached, her eyes pleading.
“Ethan...no...please don't tell me that it's...that he's...”
I could hardly even look at her. “Doctor Wolff...did everything that she could. We couldn't bring him back, Mom.”
She fell into my arms, sobbing. In that bare instant her world shattered into a million pieces. And there was nothing at all that I could do.
Going home that night I felt defeated, empty. Holly greeted me at the door and, without saying a word, took me into her embrace.
Today, five days later, we laid Dad to rest. It was a beautiful ceremony, truth be told. He was buried with full military honors, and at the end of it all Major Kennedy presented my mother with a folded flag in commemoration of his lifelong service to Simnation and her people.
Slowly everyone began to leave as the morning waned into afternoon. Lisa was the first of the family to go, not surprising since she was technically supposed to still be on bed rest (she had given Doctor Jolina a few not-so-nice words when it was recommended that she stay home). Next was Arlo, who barely said two words the entire time and left without so much as a goodbye. I had Holly take Ian home with her and Elysia when they left a short time later, and Darlene and Malcolm made their exit not long after that.
Mom stood there in front of Dad's stone, her face a mask of sorrow. I could not even imagine what she had been going through during these past several days. The five of us had lost our father...but she lost the love of her life, her partner of thirty-five years, her best friend. I came up behind her and placed an arm around her slumped shoulders. My mother, always the one who comforted me, always the one who bandaged my wounds, always the one to tell me that it would all be okay. Now it was her that needed the comforting.
“Are you going to be all right?”
She let out a sigh. “Eventually, perhaps. I need to be, for Ian's sake if for nothing else.” Mom turned to look at me. “You know, your father is...was...proud of you. You turned into a fine man.” She hesitated. “Please stop trying to blame yourself for this.”
I felt more tears coming to my eyes. “Mom, how did you...?”
“I just know you. You were always your own worst critic.” She placed both hands on my shoulders and looked me directly in the eyes. “This was not your fault, Ethan, nor was it Doctor Wolff. You gave your dad the best chance he had to survive. It just...was not meant to be. He was too far gone, and no amount of medicine, no amount of wishing, no amount of praying could have brought him back.”
“I know...” My voice trailed off. “It's just...why did it have to be Dad?”
“I don't think we will ever know. Life has no rhyme or reason sometimes. It just
is.” Mom took me into her embrace. “And sometimes, it hurts more than you think you can possibly bear.”
“I'm here for you Mom. Always. We will get through this.”
“As I am for you.” A brief hint of a grin played on her lips. “Besides, I have grandchildren to spoil. I can't just give up now.”
I smiled. “Ready to go home?”
She smiled back. “I think so.”
As we walked away I took one final glance at my father's stone and the words etched upon it.
Jackson Timothy Bunch
Beloved husband, father, grandfather, and friend.
Rest in eternal peace.So long, Dad.
(A/N: Please forgive any inaccuracies in the hospital scene. I did some research, but I'm not a doctor...so I'm sure I messed something up.
The next chapter will be a lot more jovial, I promise.
Many thanks for reading. I greatly appreciate it!)
