Author Topic: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Five (Brawl)  (Read 6031 times)

Offline xFezIsAFreakx

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Three (Wrath)
« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2012, 03:20:17 PM »
This is so very awesome! :)

TheTripWasInfraGreen

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Three (Wrath)
« Reply #16 on: August 13, 2012, 12:31:13 PM »
It's back, but I have to note something. I forgot to back up the save files and my saved families, and ended up losing everything. Thankfully, this is just a story and not a challenge/dynasty/legacy, and I could just recreate everything. Kari and the narrator were recreated to the best of my abilities, but I think that they look a little off no matter how hard I try. Hopefully it isn't too noticeable, but if it bothers you, now you know why things are how they are. :P

And as always, thanks for the kind comments.

---

Chapter Four (Past)



The next morning, I got dressed in my best attire and prepared to drive to the Kerry residence yet again. I had a bunch of purple roses with me, hoping they would help me impress Kari.



But when I said "I think I like you" and presented her with the roses, she thought it was a joke.

"I didn't mean that you're on my heart."

"But who else could it be?"



"Someone else."



The whole day ended awkwardly, and it was only 11. I went home, dejected over the end of something that seemed so good for a brief moment.



But I was being cynical. I got a call a few days later, from Kari.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I made you feel bad with that. I miss having you around, and I actually want to do something tonight. It's your call."

There was a flyer at the grocery store, advertising a concert for that night. I already decided to go, because it was an old friend of mine performing. At that moment, it seemed perfect to bring Kari with me.



"We're going to a concert tonight at Waylon's Haunt."



I failed to tell her who it was, but I knew perfectly. His name was Marco Felice, and ever since he and his family moved here, I saw him as a completely benign force. We fell out of contact after I graduated high school with his one of his younger brothers, and a concert seemed like a great way to re-connect with him.



I should have realized that Kari didn't have quite a rosy view of the situation before we walked into the bar.




She sat as far away from the stage as she could, while I wanted a good view. She refused to move, so I decided to leave her alone while Marco performed.

The performance was great, and only one of several. Marco was off the stage, and with one of his brothers. It was Philip, the one who was my age, and my best friend in high school. We also fell out of contact. I walked over, hoping it would be a good way to add some more friends to my life. Well, re-add.



They were in the middle of their own conversation, and I caught some of it.

"I noticed that Kari was here tonight," Philip whispered to his brother.

"Why hasn't she just offed herself yet?"

"Worse, I saw Dave with her."

"God help him."



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Offline Simboy134

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Four (Past)
« Reply #17 on: August 13, 2012, 02:48:33 PM »
Great story. I love the mystery and suspense
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Offline Spork-tastic

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Four (Past)
« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2012, 09:08:49 PM »
Glad to see the story back! I think you did a great job recreating the characters.

TheTripWasInfraGreen

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Four (Past)
« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2012, 11:21:55 PM »
Great story. I love the mystery and suspense

Thanks!

Glad to see the story back! I think you did a great job recreating the characters.

It was rather frustrating, as certain features needed lots of tweaking to look right, but I'm glad you like the way they turned out.

Anyways, I finally have the motivation to update this (I'm refusing to post my Life States Dynasty until this story is finished). I surprised myself with this; I got all the chapters written out. I'll probably still need to edit things, but it shaped up rather well. It's getting the screenshots that's the hard part.

I apologize for this being a very wordy chapter with few screenshots; I was itching to update this, and between university classes and trying to explore all of Supernatural, my motivation to do screenshots was definitely diminished. I'll see what it's like for the next few chapters; I have to introduce some new characters that I still haven't got around to creating in CAS. Not to mention some serious building I have to do. I'll make it through.

---

“Nice to see you again, Dave,” said Philip. I nodded.



He was surprisingly cordial that night, in spite of his previous comments. We got some drinks, all on his tab, and then chatted when they were finished.

“So, you've found someone?” he asked me.

“No.”

“It's better to live the single life when you have such a pitiful selection, isn't it? I was worried that you were getting yourself into some hell.”

I knew what he meant, but didn't say a word. Kari made a point to sit far away from us, and now I had a vague understanding as to why.

But I didn't see her in the bar. Strange. Maybe she headed home, I thought. She's apparently lived here her whole life, and Bridgeport isn't too hard to search around. I planned on giving her a call in the morning with questions.

Until there was some commotion outside. A fight, actually.



It was between two people, and I should have seen it coming. I was witnessing a verbal battle between Marco and Kari. In the heat of the fight, I could make out every word they said.

“Why can't you just leave our family alone?” Marco asked her, with a snarl.

“We're still in the same city. Get used to it.”

“Should I just kill your mother and tell you to get used to it?”

Philip had to break them up with a few words to his brother, and some reassurance. He said that he would finish this fight in the back; Marco still had fans to greet.

In spite of hearing everything clearly, I was too scared to go out back too.

But the yells increased. “Murderer!” “Liar!” “Homewrecker!” Lots of accusations were thrown around from both sides, and lots of defense.

I had to watch.

“You've driven me far enough,” muttered Kari, “I'm even afraid to go to Twinbrook now, because you and your bratty siblings will never stop bothering me there.”

“I think we have a good enough reason to.”

“Let this all go. I didn't do a darned thing to your family. Stop this. Just stop with all this jealousy. I did nothing wrong. The police laughed at your accusations. Stop.”

Philip had enough.

[Image removed.  -Pam]

He grabbed Kari by the throat, seething in anger over her words. “Do I even have a family now?” he yelled. “Did you even think of this? You've spent three years denying all of this. It doesn't make your delusions true!”



She dropped to the ground without a word. I watched the entire thing without any words.



And I ran away from the scene, screaming in terror.

Offline Katie123urgreat

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Five (Brawl)
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2012, 11:48:27 PM »
Such an intriguing story. It's very unfortunate that your game had gone bust. The characters look exactly the same! Keep up the good work!  :D


"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

DS Ben Jones: I appreciated your trust over the Masons thing.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Trust, Jones, is something hard to win, easy to lose, and never to be taken lightly.
Jones: William Shakespeare, sir?
Barnaby: No! Thomas Barnaby.
-Midsomer Murders

Offline ApplesApplesApples

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Five (Brawl)
« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2012, 07:42:22 AM »
Wow, that was pretty intense. I'm definitely on Kari's side, but I don't know if I should be. Very mysterious!



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Offline Spork-tastic

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Five (Brawl)
« Reply #22 on: September 15, 2012, 08:55:34 AM »
Wow, did not see that coming. Like Apples, I don't really know what side to be on.

thesweetestpea

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Re: The Girl in the Trenchcoat: Chapter Five (Brawl)
« Reply #23 on: September 15, 2012, 08:47:11 PM »
As per the discussion I have had with the author via PM, this story has been moved to the graveyard. The author may contact a moderator to revive it at any time.

 

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