Chapter 27 - "Empty days and lonely nights"I am not sure how I am going to cope. I had so many unanswered questions in my head about Dylan's death. I was angry, sad, lonely and most of all hurt. How could he do this to us? Why was he taken so suddenly? I didn't have the answers and I don't think anyone does. I have never lost someone that I loved before. I couldn't seem to get out of bed, but I had to clear my head. It was late and I napped for a couple of hours. The girls were in bed, so I had an idea. I knew where I had to go.
I wasn't sure what I was suppose to see or do. Maybe Dylan would be here waiting for me. Maybe it was all a cruel joke. I had to get a grip. The girls needed me and there was the funeral and I had to go see a lawyer tomorrow for the reading of Dylan's will. How was I going to get through that. When I got home, it was late and I saw Harley riding Jersey around the yard. Poor thing, I know it hit her really hard.
We talked for a while and I told her we needed to try and get some rest. It was going to be busy the next few days. The next morning, I knew I had to feed the horses and do some small chores, when it dawned on me, I was pregnant. I was stunned, but maybe this would be a little boy, the boy that Dylan had wanted so badly.
About that time, Jersey came over and wanted some attention, poor thing, he already missed Dylan, just as much as I did. I reassured him, that he was still loved and he would always be taken care of.
It was time to go to City Hall. I didn't really feel like it, but I had to do this.
I walked out in a daze. Dylan was true to his word. He had trust funds for the girls and left everything to me. I couldn't believe he had made that much money, but what is money without someone to enjoy it with. The sweetest thing that Dylan did, was leave Harley his red sports car. I walked out of there and lost it again. What a wonderful and thoughtful man.
It was getting dark when I was heading home, but I made a detour. I had placed Dylan's headstone at the pier and decided to spend some time with him.
I guess I was more tired than I thought, because I fell asleep next to Dylan. I didn't want to leave, but I needed to get home.
The next day, the girls went to school and I kept busy and cleaned the house and got things together for the funeral that evening. When the girls got home, they did their homework and we talked and chatted a while. The girls said they had made some new friends and they were going on a field trip the next day. It would be good for them to keep themselves busy to get through the grieving process. It was time for the guest to arrive. I found my way to my dearest friend, Honey. She hugged me and to me if I needed anything to just ask.
It seemed like time stood still and finally, everyone left. Harley came over and asked me, "Mom, can we see where daddy is, please? We want to say our goodbyes." How could I say no. We all piled into the car and went to the pier. We cried and talked about all of the good things that Dylan had brought to our lives and his memories would always be with us.
When we got home, the twins went to bed and I told Harley, I wanted to talk to her. I told her what I had found out at the lawyer's that daddy had left her his car. She couldn't believe it. "How can I be happy about getting a car under these circumstances?" she asked. I told her, just remember, as your driving it, daddy is always with you to keep you safe. She hugged me tightly and we went to bed to try and get some sleep.
