When last we'd left our favorite pink haired loser, he'd been led by the invaluable insight of his glorious Watcher, Elsa...Elsa: Aww, thanks, narrator!
and the scientific wisdom of William Nee the Science Fellow...William Nee the Science Fellow: I still hear the voice!! It just won't go away!!
to move in and court the affections of Elsa, not his Watcher, but her.
Balthasar: So, Elsa...not my Watcher...ummm...you...your hair...
Watcher Elsa: Yeah, I need to give the other losers makeovers and then I'll see about writing him a romance script.
Elsa: Sounds great. I'm gonna go paint!
Balthasar: I'll just...umm...I'll...what do I do?
Watcher Elsa: Practice acting, pinky. Believe me, you
need the practice.
Balthasar: Oh. Right. I'm an actor.
Wather Elsa: First to travel down makeover avenue...
Watcher Elsa: Alina!
Alina: I wasn't sure about this makeover thing, but you really nailed it, Elsa!
Watcher Elsa: Of course I did! I'm awesome. Anyway, just fish for a now, but in a little while we'll get you gardening and learning vampire lore because I want garlic bushes since
someone apparently decided to snack on my loser the night before his audition.
Vlad: ...I have a nice nose. Please don't hurt me.
Watcher Elsa: Anyway, our second passenger on makeover avenue...well...there wasn't much I could do with that one and we'll just leave him out fishing as much as possible so no one has to look at him.
Messiah: Haha, the ways you joke, Watcher Elsa. Pollinator Messiah, reporting for duty! So, Alina, you want to be the first gal blessed with my made over glory?
Watcher Elsa: Hey, Alina, why don't you go fish on the dock? I think Messiah has this area covered.
Alina: He's so creepy! Thank you, Elsa, you're the best!
Watcher Elsa: This is true. Hmm, sure hope pinky didn't try anything with the lesser Elsa without getting a script first...
Balthasar: Hey...Elsa...
Elsa: Hey yourself, Balthasar.
Balthasar: You're...you're really pretty and I'd really like to take you out to...
Elsa: Whoa! Back off, big guy. We've only known each other for a day!
Balthasar: Three days.
Elsa: I am
not going to rush into a relationship just because you're a dynasty founder and really cute and stuff. I expect you to be patient and kind and slowly win my trust and build a real relationship with me!
Balthasar: Umm, okay...
Elsa: So come try again tomorrow and I'll totally be on board because I'm just playing hard to get.
Balthasar: You are?
Elsa: Of course I am! But I can't
tell you that or it won't work!
Balthasar: Okay, so try again tomorrow and...
Elsa: Yes, tomorrow I'll totally be swept off my feet and then we can safely say we didn't rush into anything.
Balthasar: Wow, you're a real pro at this whole dating thing!
Elsa: I know, right? And can you believe I've never even dated before?!?!?
Balthasar: Wow! Me neither!
Elsa: We have so much in common! Neither of us have dated, we both have the letter "L" in our names, neither of us is a llama, obviously soulmates, but I won't confirm that until tomorrow. Hard to get and all.
Balthasar: Okay!
Watcher Elsa: Wow, William Nee the Science Fellow was right, they
are perfect together! Ridiculous and annoying, but perfect together.
Messiah: Oh my. Looks like some lovely lady sent a gift to the mustachio'd man candy!
Watcher Elsa: Please never call yourself that again, and it's not a gift from an admirer, it's...Ooooo, an ambrosia treat for a dog worth $2,500! Keep catching things that valuable and you can call yourself whatever you want.
Messiah: You got it, little lady.
Watcher Elsa: He's so creepy!
Alina: So, why am I learning vampire lore?
Watcher Elsa: The main reason is it involves you being inside where you might be seen and you're lovely and not Messiah.
Alina: That's fair.
Watcher Elsa: As secondary points, garlic will help ward off Vlad's nightly cravings to make pinky into his juice box...
Balthasar: Thank you!
Watcher Elsa: and secondly, if a good spouse option comes along at some point in the dynasty but they're a vampire, already having ample plasma fruits and such collected for a vampire cure will be super helpful.
Alina: I see. I'm doing this so someone else can have love.
Watcher Elsa: Exactly!
Alina: ...I'm so lonely.
Watcher Elsa: Love that can-do attitude, Alina! Anyway, pinky's got his first real acting gig now. Hope he doesn't screw it up.
Balthasar: Wow, it's like a warehouse, but for storing actors instead of...things that go in a warehouse!
Watcher Elsa: Get to hair and make-up, pinky!
Security: Sorry, ma'am, this is a closed set.
Watcher Elsa: (glares)
Security: Uhhh, but not to you, let me hold the door for you.
Watcher Elsa: Thank you!
Stylist: Well, you're certainly a handsome fellow.
Balthasar: Thanks, my future wife thinks so too.
Stylist: Yes, I certainly do, you smooth talker!
Watcher Elsa: Back off, nasty harpy! I already picked out a wife for him using science.
Stylist: ...okay...sorry? Anyway, done!
Balthasar: Umm, not sure this makes me look like a doctor?
Stylist: Doctor? I thought you said "rock star." Hang on...
Watcher Elsa: Done! And off to wardrobe.
Wardrobe Lady: So, what role are you playing?
Balthasar: In the script I believe it lists me as the "hot doc."
Wardrobe Lady: Got it!!
Watcher Elsa: Ugh. Doc. Hot
doc, not hot
dog.
Wardrobe Lady: Oof, sorry!
Balthasar: I look great in this!!
Wardrobe Lady: Okay...hang on...and there...fixed it!
Watcher Elsa: Pinky, focus. You have to go act now.
Balthasar: Yes. Acting. Right. Channel my inner hot doc.
Wardrobe Lady: I think he's channeling his inner hot
dog.
Watcher Elsa: Ugh.
Balthasar: Wanna buy some
drugs? We've got
loads!! And we can get
you loaded!!
Watcher Elsa: It's like a train wreck.
Blathasar: Hey, looks like we've got an impatient patient!
Balthasar: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: Oh, Hot Doc, I'm so glad you're here. I just feel so...awful! Is there...
anything...you can do to make me feel better?
Watcher Elsa: Ugh, this is horrid.
Balthasar: I'll just take your temperature...with this highlighter...
Director: CUT!!
Watcher Elsa: Thank goodness someone ended this nightmare.
Director: Balthasar, baby! That was great!! Such wonderful acting. Such passion! I could really feel it! Can't wait until the CGI people fix your mistakes and the voiceover actor we hired fixes all the lines you messed up. It's gonna be a hit, baby, a hit!!
Watcher Elsa: Umm, shouldn't you just reshoot it to fix the pile of hot mess it was?
Director: Eh, it's just a commercial, so I'm gonna make it someone else's problem. I wanna direct movies, baby. Movies!!
Watcher Elsa: Well, the director set the bar super low, and no surprise, pinky still almost blew it. Ah well. Got the promotion. Let's head home!
Balthasar: Hey, Elsa, I'm back!
Elsa: Oh, were you gone?
Balthasar: You...you didn't notice?
Elsa: Of course, I noticed, silly, and missed you terribly! I'm just pretending I didn't because I'm playing hard to get.
Balthasar: Oh. Wow. You're
so good at this!!
Elsa: I know!
Watcher Elsa: Lesser Elsa, come look at this!
Elsa: Someone made a mess in here!
Watcher Elsa: Yeah. That was probably Messiah. I mean, his name does start with the word "mess."
Elsa: That makes sense!!
Watcher Elsa: Yeah it does! Good work having that neat trait! And oddly effective job mopping a carpet.
Elsa: Thanks!
Watcher Elsa: And so, as our household comes to the end of the day, I'm gonna put the pinky doll over here in the master bedroom...
Watcher Elsa: and the Elsa doll goes in the helper room since she's playing hard to get. Pretty sure pinky was playing hard to
want. Good night, losers.
Losers: Good night, Watcher Elsa!!
