Escape from Shakespeare -- Failed, move to Graveyard

[MarianT]

PART THE FIRST -- CRESSIDA

Chapter One

   You probably know me as the heartless seductress from Troilus and Cressida.  What’s that? You’ve never heard of me? Hmph. I don’t know what they’re teaching young people these days. To make a long story short, I had a romance with Troilus in Troy, was transferred to the Greeks in a hostage exchange (my father had predicted a Greek victory and had to leave Troy precipitately), and got involved with a Greek soldier, which distressed Troilus so much that he ended up dying in battle. I made my first appearance in a medieval poem based on the Iliad; then Chaucer wrote about me, followed by the Bard himself.

   Anyway, there’s a bunch of us immortals who are tired of being famous villains or victims, and we’ve been reading these stories with some interest. When we found out that we could have dogs and cats and horses, in addition to hot tubs and  treehouses – well, nothing could stop us. We drew lots to see who would go first, which is why I’m your narrator instead of Lady Macbeth (who’s really quite nice once you get to know her).



   I arrived in Appaloosa Plains on a pretty Sunday morning. Oh, you want to know why my skin is blue? Honey, that happens when you’ve been  around for six or seven hundred years. I could tell you stories that would make your skin and hair turn blue, too, but this is a family-friendly forum, so I won’t.

   As soon as I’d purchased a suitable property, I went into town and found a job as a cook. My next stop was the library, to learn something about cooking. If you’re wondering why someone who’s 600 years old can’t cook, it’s because I always had servants. To be honest, the only skill I have is embroidery. And, well, seduction.



   Let me tell you, there’s no place like a library for romance. All that whispering makes even the most mundane conversation intimate, plus you have to get really close to each other. Within no time, Gavin and I had agreed to get married.



   And then we decided, why wait? In case you’re thinking I married him for his money, you’re partly right. Our Immortal Pension Fund has suffered severe budget cuts, and the sesterce – simoleon exchange rate is not at all favorable. To be honest, if I hadn’t met Gavin, I would have been spending the night at the fire station. But the more important reason is that I saw someone who needed me. As soon as I showed a willingness to listen (more seductive than flirtiness and great kissing any day), Gavin started pouring out his life story: how he’d been a successful plastic surgeon; how a famous TV star had wanted a tiny adjustment to her nose and it had gone bad; how he’d been fired and moved to Appaloosa Plains to get away from the hatemail; how the actress had also retreated to Appaloosa Plains and was actually living next door to him; how she kept sending her cat to kill the birds in his yard.

   “Gavin, sugar,” I said. “You need to move in with me.”

   He was a trifle taken aback when he saw that by “in” I actually meant “on,” as there was only a flat lawn.

   “I don’t see your house,” he said tactfully.

   “Sugar, you’ve been driving it,” I responded. With that, we sold his Margaret Vaguester and built our little lovenest.



   As soon as the furniture was moved in, we put the “love” in lovenest.



 And the next morning, we discovered that baby would make three.



   You’d think that after 600 years, they’d have found a cure for this.

[Deme]

This is an interesting opening! I can't wait to see what else happens... And here is, of course, hoping for a blueboo.

[Sophie98]

I love Shakespeare, particularly Twelfth Night so I'd love to see a reference to that. I have a soft spot for Maria, having played her in a play once. (And congratulations on the nooboo, hope it's blue)

[MarianT]

@Sophie -- how about an IF named Mari? (if you're not okay with that, I can always change it).

[MarianT]

Chapter Two

   The last day of my pregnancy passed in a blur. I did go to the consignment store to look for a camera (more about that later), but otherwise didn’t accomplish much. When Gavin came home from work, he gave me a lovely massage.



   Immediately after that, the labor pains started. I had expected Gavin to be more helpful, considering that he was a doctor, but I guess expectant fathers are all the same.



   Our new baby is Ophelia! They all drew lots again, and she won. This concerns me a little because I was hoping the second Immortal would take up fishing. We’ll just have to keep Ophelia happy enough that she doesn’t have any morbid thoughts when she gets near water. Gavin, of course, thinks she’s just an ordinary baby, if any baby is ordinary.



   I got my first Opportunity today. The diner was throwing a cooking contest, so I entered. I didn’t win, but I came in second, which is pretty good for someone who never boiled water before. Also, as you can see, Gavin was sweet enough to hire a maid for me.



   Meanwhile I’m running into a small problem with Gavin. He can’t stand art. It looks as if I’ll have to get him a new Margaret Vaguester. I decorated the whole house in aqua, his favorite color, but apparently that isn’t consolation enough. I keep haunting the consignment shop, hoping to find a camera for him. Right now, he’s painting, but he isn’t happy about it.

[Sophie98]

I don't mind, I wasn't trying to force you to let me name everyone! Ophelia is such a lovely name, one of my favourites, and yay! She's blue!

[MarianT]

Sophie, I didn't feel like you were trying to force me; I just didn't know how you felt about IFs. Anyway, you gave me the idea to name the dolls after characters from the comedies.

[MarianT]

Chapter Three

   Still no camera – not that I’ve had the time to visit the consignment shop. My life has been filled with activity lately, most of it menial. Besides working, first as a kitchen scullion (amazing how long these terms last – we had scullions in my day), and now as a spice runner, which is not as romantic a job as it sounds, I have also put in a garden.



   Gavin has been busy as well. Medical residents work 9 to 6, plus being on call, which means also working 2am to 4am. Also, he’s being doing vaccination clinics. Considering the vigor of his delivery, I’ve decided to tell him that I already received my flu shot at work.



   Our primary activity, however, has been taking care of Ophelia. She’s a pretty little girl, with my skin and hair color and Gavin’s eyes and high cheekbones. I think she might have inherited Gavin’s nose and mouth as well. Gavin says if she doesn’t like the way she looks, she can always get plastic surgery. I say I love her just the way she is.



   Even when she’s being a pill. Actually, I’m glad she has a bit of spirit. It encourages me to hope she’ll have a happier life this time around.



   “Can you say, ‘rosemary – that’s for remembrance?’”

   “Wosemawy!”

[MarianT]

This just failed -- Neither adult had enough painting skill to get a portrait of a toddler.

[Deme]

Awww....How sad. We can only hope your next project works out better.