submission for the
CAS contest 2014:01, Back to WorkBlack & White for Glory
by Clementine
People are always saying military issues aren't a matter of black and white... but what do they know? The citizens of Sunset Valley have become so committed to black-and-white thinking about military matters that they've commissioned this new line of uniforms, all in only those colors. They also requested that the uniforms be all in geometric patterns, because "geometry is clear cut and predictable, just like situations involving military conflict." Finally, they wanted every piece to be in a different pattern, because, as they put it, "we forget why, we'd had a lot of nectar at that point in the meeting." Well, the customer is always right, and the honchos over at the base certainly seem pleased with the finished products. BONUS! Sunset Valley's hometown twin astronauts, Artemis and Apollo Starr, have volunteered to model the line for us. We've also included some of their commentary on the collection with their studio shots below.Posing as "grunts," our heroes show the uniforms in action. Artemis displays the flexibility of the fabric, while Apollo shows that a real man can pull off mixed patterns:Artemis throws a salute and Apollo waves to the troops as squadron leaders:Finally, Artemis and Apollo proudly display their own astronaut uniforms as they look beyond the thermosphere in unison:**************************************************************************************************************
Below, find shots of the uniforms in the studio along with the exclusive astronaut commentary, with links to download each outfit component beneath. Artemis in the women's grunt uniform. "Are these, like, blocks stacked on top of each other? I'm finally stacked! Take it from an astronaut, though: that's not good in zero gravity."
Apollo in the men's grunt uniform. "In what environment is this supposed to provide camouflage?"
Artemis in the women's squadron leader uniform. "I said, as long as the new uniforms aren't navy blue, I'm happy. I guess I'm happy! I look a little like a pot of boiling water, though. A happy, happy pot of boiling water."
Apollo in the men's squadron leader uniform. "I picked out the jacket and slacks patterns. See, they're like, the same, only opposites. Like yin and yang, except... not completely. Much. Okay, at all. I've been doing a lot of zero-G training, sorry."
Artemis in the women's astronaut uniform. "I'm just so glad the circles don't line up with any body parts! Except my knees. And, I guess, my ovaries?"
Apollo in the men's astronaut uniform. "When you're out in space, everything becomes so clear, it changes your perspective forever. I'm guessing. We haven't actually achieved a space mission here in Sunset Valley yet."
By the way, if you're wondering, "how does their hair change like that?" we have two words for you: military technology. Their budget doesn't all go to warmongering, our small town space program, and fashion design commissions!
