@oshizu I'm so happy you liked it! If you were a fan of the last chapter, this one should be right up your alley.
I have to agree about Cressida and Thaddeus, they are really just male and female versions of each other.
@wfgodot Thank you! I'm glad you appreciated my costume decisions and set-up.
I just figured these guys going on a spy mission would definitely have their own Spiffendale-y way of going about it. Mallory's trial wasn't going to involve a hot tub . . . but it is now! Thanks for the idea!
I took so many shots of the cowplants because seeing them all together was so funny to me.
And, yes, cheats are so fun!
@MarianT Thank you! I'm so glad you like it. Next trail coming up!
@Alex I had a blast setting everything up. It's been a real challenge trying to manipulate objects that exist in game to serve the purposes I need (like the boom cube/ice block), but it's been so fun! Definitely a departure from my usual style, but crazy fun nonetheless.
II: ShokugekiMorris: Oooh! Mushrooms! Nice! These are pretty rare, too! I’ve never seen this variety in Newcrest.
Morris: Carrots! Don’t mind if I do! I mean, I suppose the abundance of quality produce in my particular section of this hedge maze could be simply a ruse to lead me around in circles and down blind alleys, but . . . eh.
Morris: Okay, a little cloudgaze to top up my inspiration. I have to say, so far this haunted mansion business has been downright pleasant. *sigh* Okay, then. Time to head in!
Morris: Honey, I’m-WHOA! WHAT? So many lights! Is this a reality show? What's going on?
Ghost: SHOKUGEKI!!!!!
Morris: Shoku-whatnow?
Ghost: Morris Spiffendale! I, J Huntington the First, the Original, do hereby challenge you to the ultimate cooking battle! We will compete, head-to-head, in this very kitchen stadium. If you are victorious, you may pass though the door on the other side . . .
Morris: Okay, not that I’m admitting this as even a remote possibility, but what happens if you win?
J the First: You will give me the recipe for ambrosia.
Morris: Oh. Okay.
J the First: And also you fail the quest you and your entire family have been working towards all of your lives.
Morris: Hmmm . . . yeah, still okay. I’m on board. Rules? Theme? Theme ingredients?
J the First: Oh-ho-ho, yes! The key to the theme of this competition lies within this very box! For this challenge, you must use the ingredients contained in this room to create the most glorious, the most transcendent, the very apotheosis of my favorite dish. And that dish is . . .
Morris: Please don’t say fish tacos. Please don’t say fish tacos. Please don’t say fish tacos . . .
J the First: FISH TACOOOOOOOOOS!
Morris: *Groans* Honestly, the one recipe in the universe for which I have completely run out of ideas. All right, who’s judging this farce, anyway?
J the First: Ah, yes. I saved the best part for last. You see, we have managed to engage the masterful skills and unequaled palate of the greatest food critic to ever practice the profession . . .
Morris: You want me to judge the competition myself? I mean, that hardly seems fair to you, but I certainly admire your taste.
J the First: No, no, no! It’s Geeta Rasoya!
Morris: But she hates my guts!
J the First: Exactly!
Other Ghost: Umm, actually J, there’s something I forgot to tell you.
J the First: What is it, J? This is hardly the time! I’m busy gloating!
Morris: Wait, you’re both named J? That’s confusing.
J the First: *sigh* No. I’m J the first, and my son over there is J Jr.
Other Ghost: My name is actually Jeffrey, but I go by J. It’s just simpler.
Morris: Is it? Because it seems like . . .
J the First: Enough introductions! J, what happened to Ms. Rasoya?
J(effrey): Well, something came up at the last minute and she couldn’t make it. But we’ve found a replacement, and I think he’s even better!
Cressida: Sorry, Geeta, dear. You’re going to have to come with me.
Geeta: Mmmph! But my revenge!
Cressida: Yeah, yeah. Another time, honey.
**********************
J the First: But who could you possibly have found at the last minute who’s worthy of judging this Shokugeki? Did you even get a writing sample?
J(effrey): Oh, yes! His work is positively scathing! He’s even meaner than Geeta. Granted, his specialty is mainly art, but he’s got a great deal of experience with food as well. Julian vetted him earlier today. He says he’s great!
J the First: Well, what’s his name?
J(effrey): They call him . . . El Lobo.
Julian: I can’t tell you how much we appreciate you stepping in like this, Diego. You really saved our necks.
Diego: Please. It’s entirely my pleasure.
J the First: Lovely to meet you, El Lobo. Welcome aboard!
Morris: So . . . you guys don’t read the forum, then, huh?
Diego: Hush, Morris. No one wants to hear about your absurd little life story right now.
J(effrey): See? Totally mean! He’s going to be great!
Diego: Totally mean, with exquisite taste. Now, let’s get this Shokugeki underway!
*Shing!* *Fwoosh!* *Rapapappapapa!* *and other exciting cooking noises*
Diego: ENOUGH! The time period has elapsed. Please present your final dishes for inspection. J the First, you are . . . first. What have you prepared for me?
J the First: I have used the finest and most expensive quality ingredients as well as the most revolutionary new gastronomic techniques to prepare for you a dish so delicious its flavor cannot be contained within this galaxy. I give you . . . .the space taco!
Diego: *bites* Ah, yes. I taste the flavors of the sea and the sky. I feel as though I am wading out into the ocean . . .
Diego: And yet, as the water laps playfully about my feet, and a wave rushes to engulf me . . . I remember I still have my cell phone in my pocket.
J the First: Huh?
Diego: I’m sorry, J. While your dish truly reaches the pinnacle of technique and innovation, I’m afraid I find it ultimately disappointing.
J the First: But . . . but .. .
Diego: Eating this, I feel like a dinosaur descending into a tar pit, melancholy with the knowledge that archaeologists will ultimately misinterpret my awkward pose.
J the First: That’s . . . quite the esoteric metaphor*. I’m not exactly sure how to argue with that.
Diego: Indeed, you shouldn’t try. Please bring me the next dish. Morris, what do you have to present?
Morris: I offer you the humble taquito.
J the First: *scoffs* Taquitos? Surely you must be joking.
Morris: I elevated this usually pedestrian, often frozen, snack treat to a higher level of deliciousness and exotic flavor through the introduction of my personal favorite fish, halibut. I fried it in the most delicate grapeseed oil to avoid introducing any extraneous flavors, and crisped the shell with sea salt I gathered myself from the Windenburg Bay. Also, I chopped up that cactus from the entryway to this room and pickled it to use as garnish.
Diego: Genius!
J the First: What?
Diego: Eating this, I feel reborn. This is not a taco. It is my mother, and I love her.
Morris: Whoa! Diego! I appreciate the compliment, but maybe there’s no particular reason to disrobe right now.
Diego: Nonsense, Morris. I’m not really naked, My nudity is metaphorical, symbolizing the ecstasy of my return to infancy through your cooking.
Morris: Okay. Looks pretty literal to me, but I think this means I won, so I won’t argue with you.
J the First: I do not accept this! It’s preposterous! I will not be beaten by taquitos! Let me taste them!
Morris: By all means, go ahead!
J the First: *Gasps* It’s true! It’s true! The flavors really do complete me and enable me to express my true, undisguised self! I am biting into a cactus, but instead of spikes . . . STARS! Morris Spiffendale, you are a true culinary master. I concede your victory, and allow you to pass!
Morris: *burps* Oh, excuse me. Hey, guys! Well, that was almost too easy. I feel a bit insulted, to tell you the truth.
Arianna: Oh, Morris. Let’s not look our gift horse in the mouth, okay?
Morris: As you say, Mother. When’s everybody else getting here?
J: Soon enough, Morris. Soon enough.
*esoteric metaphors courtesy of Mr. Fiori.