@oshizu 
I guess it was pretty snarky. I'm feeling snarky lately. I blame Cressida. She has a single bed because I'm lazy. I just remodeled the whole room to make it a toddler nursery and then she aged up and got a child bed and after that I was like, no more! You get no more renovations! She doesn't sleep, anyway. She's Never Weary and has a book of life, so . . . okay, okay. I'll get her a bed.
I'm glad you're so devoted to Morris. He does need some more love.
Cressida's got her friends all lined up, thank goodness. She can be nice when she has to. I just have to be careful not to ruin everything by having her perform her daily work task on people she needs to like her. I usually just grab whomever is walking past the house.
@wfgodot I know! Poor Morris! He and Salma are really good friends and he was very devoted to her! Now he has to start all over with Houda and I'm bummed.
I'm actually pretty mad at Thaddeus right now. Even though he and Akito were married and soulmates and everything he got zero sad moodlets when Akito died. With Rieko he got a double-whammy of "witnessed a death" and "death of a friend." I'm sort of not speaking to him right now.
I'd forgotten about the Cam-Rocco-Daisy sleep triangle! That was the cutest! I have to go back and read that again.
Wendell is perusing his sock options as we speak.
Oh, and Cressida has read your latest post and wonders how those BLTs are working out for you.
@Alex Nope. Not just you. She freaked me out because whenever they get uncomfortable I always assume they've overexerted themselves somehow but, nope, just standing in a trash pile.
Good luck on the zebra facts. Despite their super-cool appearance there just isn't that much to say about them. One site I found actually talked about Chris Rock's zebra character in Madagascar, which I think is really more an interesting fact about Chris Rock than anything, but whatever.
@Whirligig Yeah, Morris has a bit of trouble sympathizing with anything not Morris-related, but that is why we love him.
The matching villain costumes was such a lucky break.
Recently a ghost of wfgodot's acquired the evil trait after dying, and I was wondering if the same thing happened to Catherine because she's been so angry lately, but I checked and her traits are the same as before. I hope it doesn't become a thing!
Chapter 116: Good Idea, Bad Idea
Watcher: Sweet! Vampire street style! Hey, Cress! Come fight with this chick! She’s awesome!
Passerby: You good, Maya? This girl bothering you?
Maya: Oh, I think I’ll be just fine.
Cressida: *chuckles*
Cressida: How about we warm up with a little threatening? Sound good?
Maya: Hold on there, tiger. You may want to reconsider.
Cressida: Well, I don’t like your outfit.
Maya: Um, I’m afraid the problem there lies with you, dear, because my outfit is solid gold.
Cressida: Hmm. This isn’t going the way I planned. Okay, go into your dark form because if experience is any measure that one’s going to be absolutely ridiculous and extremely insult-able.
Cressida: Still cool in dark form? What is this? Did we get a patch or something? That’s it! Now we’re fighting.
Maya: I was hoping you’d say that.
Cressida: This may have been a mistake.
Maya: You think?
Cressida: Can you let me down so I can start studying vampire lore really hard?
Maya: Say you like my outfit.
Cressida: Oh, come on! Don’t make me say it!
Maya: Say it . . .
Cressida: Your outfit is very hot and sexy and I kind of want to copy it when I get my adult birthday makeover. You happy?
Maya: Oh, yes. Very happy. Thanks.
Cressida: You’re still a jerk, though. Buzz off. My daily task is complete.
Maya: As is your humiliation. Bwa. Ha. Ha.
Cressida: Stupid vampires.
Cressida: Okay you all heard me tell her to buzz off, yeah? I in no way said, “I require you to stand outside our house until you burn to death.” She definitely did that on her own! I don’t need to witness any more deaths. This is just annoying.
Cressida: Ugh. The smell of the smoke is interfering with my grilled cheese breakfast.
Pernille: Excuse me, Not Salma? You know you’re standing on the wrong side, yeah? If you ever want to be acknowledged as anything other than an unacceptable stand-in you’re going to have to get with the family on these types of occasions.
Houda: I just want to see what program he’s using! Is it DethMatrix or SoulSwap?
Grim Reaper: Back off, Not Salma. Trade Secrets.
Arianna: Well, at least we get a cool new tombstone.
Morris: I don’t like it. It stands out too much. It ruins the balance.
Cressida: Well, we could always kill another vampire for the other side of the cemetery plot. I’m excited for her ghost to come out. I hear vampire ghosts are really neat. Plus, I want a re-match.
Watcher: Um, Houda? You interesting in fixing that at all? No? Just going to stand there? K, then.
Cressida: Oooh! Look at me! I can point my finger! Pointy point point! Man, after fighting a vampire, all this other mean stuff is super boring.
Ponytail: Oh, put some clothes on, you show-off!
Cressida: *yawn*
Morris: All right, Salma. We’re here and we want answers!
Salma: Oh, come on guys! What’s with the gloomy faces? Come on, it’s knight night!
Salma: Morris-
Morris: I’m just Morris now, huh? Not even Master Morris for old times’ sake?
Salma: Morris, we’re just friends now. Equals. Master is a sacred title, and as much as I admire you I can’t cheapen it by just throwing it around.
Morris: Fine. So why did you do it, Salma? How could you leave us?
Salma: Your family’s immortality put me an awkward position, Morris. I was bound to serve your household for a lifetime, but after a few lifetime-length periods it became obvious that my obligation had been more than fulfilled. The powers that be over at the Academy were preparing to launch an investigation, and not wishing to burden your family I decided to quietly resign.
Morris: What’s the big deal about an investigation by the Windenburg Butlering Academy?
Salma: *meaningfully* It’s . . . burdensome, Morris.
Morris: Burdensome?
Salma: Burdensome. I felt the intrusion into your family’s affairs, particularly when you are nearing the end of your quest would have been unfair and troubling and the best way I could fulfill my obligation to you and express my loyalty to your family was by sparing you the inconvenience.
Morris: I see.
Salma: Now, come on. Buy me a drink?
Morris: Well, all right. But only if you let me taste it and criticize it ruthlessly.
Salma: I’d expect nothing less.
Wendell: *sings* I’m married to the music!
Morris: I still say that McDillian’s 15-year-aged nect is superior. Aging it any more than that is just pandering to the sims with too many simoleons who care more about how much they pay for it than how good it tastes!
Salma: Then don’t buy the 20-year, Morris! Just let it go! Honestly, they’re not making it purely to annoy you.
Morris: I have to say, you’re actually more fun when you talk back to me. Maybe I won’t fire Not Salma and try to get you back.
Salma: Her name is Houda, and I wouldn’t come back, anyway, Morris. I make twice what I did at your place busking at the Spice Festival. And I’m still immortal.
Morris: You’d better be! I have many more arguments saved up that I haven’t been able to have with anyone since Diego passed.
Morris: And look! Just look at that Sunset Valley she made me. Two celery sprigs! Two! Who does she think she’s dealing with?
Salma: That’s actually a reportable infraction. One celery sprig is standard and anything other than standard is pretty much inexcusable. I wonder who her mixology professor was. I’m sure they’d be mortified.
Morris: I know, right?
Salma: You know, you could help her out and share a few mixology secrets with her . . . she’s very lucky to have you.
Morris: Well, when you put it that way . . .
Morris: Good to see you, Salma.
Salma: Good to see you, Morris. Shall we plan to meet up again next Knight Night?
Morris: It’s a date! A platonic one! I don’t need any more loves of my life, but you’re very special to me Salma, and I hope we can stay good friends.
Salma: Always, Morris. Never doubt it.
Watcher: Always when I start the game Wendell is selected. What’s up with that? Is Wendell the game’s favorite, too? Wait a minute, are his eyes open?
Wendell: *sharp intake of breath*
Watcher: Oh. Nope. Now they’re closed. So innocent. I don’t know, mister. I’m not buying it.
Wendell: *secret smile*
Watcher: Okay, there you go. There’s your Wendell sad puppy face. You’re welcome, Wendell fans. Now, Wendell, you know the drill, bath and nap! Now!
Watcher: And the Morris puppy face. Though you definitely didn’t get yours from working out Captain Lovehandles. You go do yoga!
Cressida: While meditating, Cressida found it in her heart to forgive Sir Chilipepper shirt? Seriously? I swear, these pop-up messages do not know me at all!
Arianna: Um . . .
Cressida: Heh heh heh heh . . . never getting old! I wish I could see your face! I bet it’s awesome!
