@MarianT I'm pretty bummed about your Zargons and Bairds. They were our first introduction to the RDC! But I'm comforted that the Zests are still going strong, so that makes me happy. My solution felt right to me, too. As soon as I came up with it I stopped being sad and started to get excited about writing again, so I knew it was the right thing to do.
@wfgodot Thanks, yo! I can feel your affection for the Behrens family in your writing, too. These little pixels love to break our hearts. Oh, and I'm glad you enjoyed the reference to Cam earlier. I just can't imagine anyone else in that shirt.
@Caterina Oh, your comments make me the happ-eus Watcher/Writer in the world.
Thank you for the giggle. I was bummed things didn't work out with Izumi because she made awesome faces. Rieko is sweet and adorable, though. Yay geek love! Oh, and I wanted to say how happy it makes me that you and
@Candyd have given Goopy such wonderful new lives! It makes me very happy to imagine him walking around your neighborhoods and having little purple burritos!
@oshizu Thank you! Oh, I neglected to respond to your earlier comment in all the hubbub, but yes that's teen Salim in the collage. He's so cute before his beard has grown in!
@HelenP Thank you so much! Honestly, there are far worse things to be addicted to.
Chapter 92: Sabotage
Tallulah: Hello, again!
Jorge: Yes. Hello. Again. Imagine my surprise when you called the second I left to invite me over again.
Tallulah: You’re devoted to me! You should not mind.
Jorge: And I don’t! Not at all! I just think you don’t need to worry quite so hard about me dying just yet.
Tallulah: It’s not going to happen the second you step off the lot? I get this horrible feeling in my gut as soon as you disappear. I just don’t want you to be alone when it happens.
Jorge: Not everybody hates solitude. A nice, peaceful not-in-world slipping away actually sounds fine to me.
Tallulah: Oh! Speaking of that! We just realized we haven’t used our one-time world re-population option yet, so you’re moving into Daisy Hovel. Pack your bags, Formerly-Homeless Townie!
Jorge: Shouldn’t you be using those spots for people Thaddeus can potentially befriend?
Tallulah: He only needs six friends, and I need you to be safe and comfortable where I know you’re not going to be culled at any second.
Jorge: Well, if it’s my comfort you’re worried about, perhaps we should continue this conversation in the hot tub.
Tallulah: Ugh. I hate that hot tub! Stupid, evil hot tub!
Jorge: Since when do you hate the hot tub? I thought everyone loved the hot tub. It’s really nice.
Tallulah: Everyone hates the hot tub, okay!? We’re selling it as soon as we get the chance.
Jorge: But we spent our honeymoon in that hot tub-
Tallulah: EVERYONE HATES THE HOT TUB, OKAY?!
Jorge: Um, okay, sure. Moving on, could you set aside your hot tub hatred for a few minutes so we can do some canoodling?
Tallulah: Yeah, okay. I guess. But you’d better stick around for awhile. This better buy me enough time to ask you to spend the night.
Jorge: Mmmmm. Now that’s more like it.
Tallulah: I’m getting out. I can’t stand this hot tub. You know, you’ve gotten cheekier since we got married. You never used to give me a hard time about anything.
Jorge: A wedding is a funny thing, my love. I haven’t felt this secure in . . . well, ever. But really, if anyone’s being cheeky right now it’s you, dear.
Tallulah: You see? Butt jokes! Since when do you make butt jokes?
Jorge: I blame the aromatherapy oil.
Tallulah: Me too. *darkly* For everything.
Jorge: Everything . . . ?
Tallulah: Just go with it, dear.
Jorge: That is what I do best.
Tallulah: Well, at least that hasn’t changed.
Otto: Yes! Sabotage! I finally get to use this ability! Awesome! Huh . . . so I guess when I sabotage things they don’t break instantly. More of a delayed-reaction thing. I hope Thaddeus doesn’t need to finish this aspiration anytime soon.
Thaddeus: *loudly* Boy, I sure hope this recently-sabotaged sink doesn’t unexpectedly break on me while I’m innocently getting a glass of water.
*waits*
Okay, forget this. Let’s just buy a new sink so I can upgrade it.
Thaddeus: There we go. Much better. Now to try and break the microwave.
Thaddeus: Well, it didn’t work, but on the plus side, now I have a delicious microwave pastry to eat!
Karla: I’m proud of you, dear.
Thaddeus: Thanks, Grandma Karla! Say, do you think you could possess something around here and break it? I still need to repair or upgrade a couple of things.
Karla: Sorry, dear. I’m perfect, and perfect ghosts only provide encouragement and do the dishes.
Thaddeus: Yay! Upgraded teapot!
Morris: Yeah, and now that we’ve fired the kleptomaniac maid we might actually get to enjoy some upgraded tea!
Morris: Oh! There it goes! Finally!
Tallulah: Yeah, too late for poor Thad, though. I guess it’s only truly sabotage if it breaks when nobody wants it to break.
Omar: So, Thad? You think your Mom is into younger guys?
Thaddeus: Dude. She’s married. Lay off. Hey, give me your e-mail password so I can fix your spam filters.
Omar: Okay, sure. Thanks, man. It’s “T-H-A-D-D-E-U-S-S-M-O-M”
Thaddeus: Dude, seriously? That’s your password?
Omar: Oh, right! The “O” is a zero. Makes it more secure.
Thaddeus: Ugh!
Jorge: That’s a lovely blend from the Monte Vista Valley area. Pairs excellently with poultry, though honestly I think it’s rich and full-bodied enough to hold its own with a pork chop.
Tallulah: Honey, you’re off duty. Just enjoy our home-date. I don’t need to know the lineage of my nectar.
Jorge: Many people say it enhances the nectar-drinking experience!
Tallulah: Many ladies say that to you because they think you’re cute and want you to keep talking to them.
Tallulah: A toast to you, my love, my most faithful Jorge.
Jorge: Darling! I’m touched!
Tallulah: Well, the option to make a toast comes about so rarely, I just had to seize it.
Tallulah: Oh, sweetie! Your poor neck!
Jorge: Not the worst pain I have endured for your love by a long shot, my dear, and very worth it!
Tallulah: Mmmmmm.
Jorge: Mmmm. Honey, I should probably get going I-Mmmmmmm
Tallulah: Nope. Staying here. Never leaving. More making out.
Thaddeus: Definitely not hacking! No idea why there are scary red boxes all over my screen but it’s definitely not from hacking!
Pernille: Ten bucks says Salma’s a total dart shark.
Wendell: You’re on!
Salma: *scores bullseye*
Otto: Oh! I knew it!
Thaddeus: Hey! Hey! It’s my birthday!
Thaddeus: I look exactly the same, and I’m celebrating all by myself. Two things I am totally okay with.
Watcher: I think you got handsomer.
Thaddeus: What? HUH? VOICES?!?!?!? Oh, no! Oh no ohnoohno. What’s happening?
Watcher: Oh, I was getting bored so I made you insane so you can talk to me. Yaaaay!
Thaddeus: Sweet son of a llama there it is again! Ahhhhhh!
Watcher: No no no! It’s okay! Stop screaming! I’m the Watcher. I’m nice and good and you like me. Man, Catherine was a lot more easy-going about this. She must have been insane from childhood.
Thaddeus: Crazy Grandma Catherine?
Watcher: Yes, but you should probably be more respectful. You’re easily as crazy as she is, and you’re not exactly crazy, just . . . extra-perceptive.
Thaddeus: Huh?
Watcher: Look, just . . . get a job and then I’ll give you some new hair, because I feel like the manbun is not quite right for your face, and then we’ll talk some more, yeah? It’s all going to be okay. Okay?
Thaddeus: O . . . kay?
Watcher: That’s the spirit!
Thaddeus: Okay! Tech Guru. Just what I’ve always wanted to do. This is a no-brainer.
Watcher: Ummm . . .
Thaddeus: What now?
Watcher: You sure you don’t want to shake things up a bit? You could do Criminal. The Boss branch needs handiness and you’ve got that in spades. Or the Oracle branch does lots of hacking! You love hacking!
Thaddeus: What? You’ve been watching me hack? That was supposed to be on the down-low!
Watcher: Oops.
Thaddeus: Do you watch me in that bath, too?
Watcher: Well I don’t, like, ogle you, but I’m usually around, yeah.
Thaddeus: What do I wear while I’m bathing, then?
Watcher: A very tasteful yellow sundress, but I’m pretty sure that’s my fault. I downloaded some custom content that messed up everybody’s nude outfits.
Thaddeus: You took a PICTURE?
Watcher: Wouldn’t you?
Thaddeus: . . . This is a disaster.
Watcher: Nah. It’s kind of cute. And you fill it out surprisingly well!
Thaddeus: Okay. Shut it down. Back on track. Joining the Tech Guru career because I need it for my aspiration. No further discussion.
Watcher: Bah. You’re no fun.
Otto: Bzzzzt! Nice! You’ve got a little alien in you after all!
Thaddeus: Sweet!
Thaddeus: So . . . when Grandma Catherine talked about the Watcher . . . did she mention any way to turn it off?
Wendell: No, but I think she really enjoyed it. Made her feel important. Sweet lady, your grandma. Her ghost comes around sometimes. You could ask her about it. Are you hearing voices, Thad?
Thaddeus: Ummm. I gotta go do my makeover. See you later.
Watcher: Oh, yeah! Now that’s a hairstyle that fits your head! And that jacket makes me think you should definitely do Interstellar Smuggler. Come on! You know you want to be an astronaut!
Thaddeus: I do not. I want to stick with the plan and sit in front of the nice, safe computer for the entirety of my career.
Watcher: Bleh. Fine. You’ll regret it when you’re spending hours in the Happy Bathroom in front of that stupid mirror.
Thaddeus: I need charisma regardless of what career I go into and excuse me, but why do I have to be the level-headed one here? Isn’t the point of the Watcher to provide guidance and stop us from doing silly things and keep us on task so we can finish successfully? Weren’t you the one who planned for me to be a Tech Guru from the very start?
Watcher: Yeah, yeah but it’s Gen 8 and I’m stir-crazy. You’ve seen how many makeovers I’ve done this week! I made that plan when I was young and innocent and hadn’t done Tech Guru six million times. Oh, shoot! I gotta go. Your Grampa Morris just passed out.
Thaddeus: You’re not great at this whole Watcher thing, are you?
Watcher: I do okay. I got you this far. And a few days further . . . Yeah . . . I’m not super great. I try!
Thaddeus: *sigh* Whatever.
