@HelenP Oh, my. I found the Night Garden and watched a full episode with my almost-two-year-old. She was
mesmerized. I don't know whether or not to thank you.
I do know that any time I want her to crack up now I can just say, "Tombliboo trousers!"
@Tilia I know! They had the deck kind of stacked against them, though, because I had to wait to start the wedding until Wendell got home from work and it was pretty late. I get too impatient, though, to wait to hold events until everyone has a day off. Corina's abs are all genes. I gave her a makeover the second she aged up to teen and those abs were already there. She scares me quite a bit.
@oshizu Wendell's party kit is pretty nicely tricked out at this point. He carries several cakes, a DJ booth, a bar, a stereo, a cardboard dance floor, several emotional paintings, and camping tables (to put the cakes on) at all times. It isn't always enough for gold, but almost always, and it totally worked for the wedding. I can't wait for City Living (I just pre-ordered) because it looks like there will be a portable piano! Then we can really live it up!
Chapter 34: Watching the Watcher
Catherine: Woohoo! Check me out, Watcher! I’m a pregnant lady!
Watcher: *ahem* Yeah . . . about that. We’re, um . . . we’re not doing the whole “Watcher” thing in this one. Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a wonderful narrative strategy, a classic really, and there are definitely times I’d love to give you all a piece of my mind, but I made certain decisions about the way I wanted to tell this story when I started and I want to be consistent so .. . no more watcher dialogue, ‘kay?
Catherine: So I’m just supposed to ignore the fact that you’re always around, watching everything I do? I mean, you’re in the bathroom with me right now. I can’t exactly pretend that’s not happening.
Watcher: *sigh* Nobody else seems to have a problem with it. And, you know, it’s not even like you’re pretending. In this particular imaginary universe, I don’t exist. I am not a character in this story. No Watcher. There has never been one, and there isn’t now. We are not having this conversation. Now go eat some strawberries and forget about it, okay?
Catherine: But, like, this right here. I don’t like strawberries. I don’t want to eat them. They only fill my hunger up by a little bit. I’d much rather be eating a BLT. Yet, here I am. Eating strawberries. Repeatedly. Why would I be doing that if there weren’t a Watcher telling me to?
Watcher: . . . .
Catherine: Okay, then. Since I’m not being Watched, I guess I’ll just go mourn somebody in the little cemetery over there.
Watcher: No! Stop it! Curse you people and your stupid mourning! You never even mourn someone you actually even knew! You’re going to mourn Gemma Goth! Gemma Goth of all people!
Catherine: She was my stepmom. I miss her deeply.
Watcher: You do not! You never met her! Yes, she was technically your stepmother, but you barely even knew your father. And speaking of your father, his tombstone is right next to hers! If you want to mourn somebody, mourn him!
Catherine: Hey! Gotcha! Got you talking! Come on! Be my pal! Let’s talk about stuff!
Watcher: I’m beginning to understand why Lucien doesn’t like you.
Catherine: Oooh! Fancy book! For me?
Watcher: For you. Believe me it wasn’t easy getting your father-in-law to write it for you, but I pulled it off. Now I want to be very clear. This is a bribe. I’m giving you this book so you will leave me alone. Do we have a deal?
Catherine: No way! Now that I don’t have to eat or sleep anymore, I’m going to have even more time to talk to you! You did not think this through.
Watcher: Okay, forget it. J just called, so I’m going to lunch with Arianna and Dimitri. You have fun being un-watched for awhile.
Catherine: Hurry back!
Watcher: Won’t!
Arianna: Darling! You always know the best moment to call and invite us out!
Dimitri: Layla, you’re a lovely girl. Stunning, really, but a place like this has a certain standard of dress, and I’m afraid your jeans might raise a few eyebrows.
Layla: Oh, okay. Hang on.
Dimitri: Okay that’s . . . not much better, but I can work with it!
Wendell: I don’t mind getting my practice done here, but I can’t help but feel like something’s trying to keep me away from home. I’d really like to see my wife, and Grandma and Grampa have been eating lunch for ages over there. If I had my druthers I’d totally be home right now. Oh, well. No druthers for Wendell.
Lucien: I still don’t like her, and if I have to hang out here playing horseshoes all night to avoid her, then so be it.
Lucien: Ow! Aw, man! Forgotten birthday! I blame Catherine!
Layla: That was a wonderful meal we had together, Dimitri. Now how about a little dessert?
Dimitri: Oh, Layla. You really know how to light my Fyres.
Layla: You have been spending way too much time with Wendell.
Catherine: Ugh! How do you stand it? The puns are just excruciating around here.
Watcher: I thought we talked about this. No more Watcher conversations. Go back to your nice book. You’ll never finish Renaissance Sim if you keep stopping to gesticulate wildly. Also, I’m the one responsible for those puns, so be nice.
Catherine: So you admit you’re in charge?
Watcher: I admit nothing. Read your book.
Catherine: Look. I have a proposal. Let’s compromise. Just hang out and talk with me sometimes and I will transfer any pent-up messages you want to send to other members of the family. If somebody starts mourning, I can redirect them. If Dimitri’s girlfriends change the radio station, I’ll change it back. I can help you. I can be your ally.
Watcher: Why would you want to do that?
Catherine: Well . . . I kind of like the idea of being an insider. My mind functions a bit differently than everybody else’s. It would just be nice for that to be an advantage for once. I could get the inside scoop. Have a bit of input. Subtly pull the puppet strings, you know?
Watcher: Well, I guess I can’t argue with that. At least not without sounding like a hypocrite regarding the whole puppet-strings bit. We’ve got rules, though, you know. You should probably check out the forum thread. No pulling strings that cause anybody to die or anything.
Catherine: Forum thread, eh? I like it. Sounds covert and exclusive. I’ll check it out.
Watcher: Are you sure you’re not just angling to go into the Secret Agent career? I can totally make that happen.
Catherine: Nah.
Lucien: No, it’s no problem, Arianna, because I am a cool guy and I make a very appealing elder. Also, they make my favorite shades with a prescription, so I’m good to go.
Arianna: Still Mr. Coolguy after all these years.
Lucien: Watch it, Madame Founder! After your next ambrosia, you’ll technically be younger than me! You little whipper-snapper!
Wendell: I am a majestic stork bird! Teleportation here I come!
Watcher: Cheese it! Here comes Arianna!
Catherine: No, no it’s cool! I’ll just pretend to be talking to this book. *Loudly* That’s a really funny joke, Watcher Book. Ha ha!
Arianna: Sooo, the book is the Watcher?
Catherine: No, no. She just uses it as a medium of communication. Isn’t that right, Watcher?
Arianna: You’re not becoming some sort of religious zealot, are you?
Catherine: Goodness, no! Just like to have a nice chat with our great ruler and creator every now and then! Isn’t that right, Watcher?
Watcher: I don’t have to answer, right? You’re talking to the pretend Watcher now?
Arianna: So what was the joke?
Catherine: What?
Arianna: The funny joke the Watcher Book told you?
Catherine: Oh, it was . . .um . . . What was it again, Watcher?
Watcher: Uuuuumm . . . . A man walks into a bar with a hot dog and says, “Only one of us is leaving here alive!”
Catherine: Why are all of your jokes about hot dogs?
Arianna: It was about a hot dog? I don’t know any jokes about hot dogs. This is giving me a headache. I’m going to go meditate.
Catherine: High five, Watcher! We were super smooth!
Watcher: Yup. Smooth like butter. This is a super good plan that I do not instantly regret.
