Chapter 3: Scraping By
Arianna: Wow, the lighting is terrible in here
J: Yeah, we should really buy some more lamps.
A: We actually can’t afford lamps right now, or anything else for that matter. That’s kind of why we’re doing the wedding now. I thought I could hit up the guests for large loans while they’re here and feeling celebratory.
J: You’re brilliant. I’m so glad I’m marrying you.
A: Me too. Oh right! getting married! Let’s do this!
Betty: Mr. Gardener, sir? I don't mean to be rude, but, what is going on with that suit?
Gardener: It's called upstaging the bride, Betty. It's something evil people do. You'll understand when you're older.
A: I promise to keep both our green and pink bars completely full, so that you won’t remember you’re non-committal and start to feel tense. I also promise to eventually buy you a hot tub for the same purpose. P.S. don’t look now but Katrina Caliente is totally checking out Don’s butt.
J: I, too, promise to keep both our green and pink bars completely full, so that I won’t start to feel tense. I promise I will make good use of the hot tub. P.S. why is Summer Holiday always making that stink face? Does she have resting stink face or something?
*confetti!*
Arianna: Okay, here’s the plan: you fill up the sparking juice fountains and get everybody feeling happy, and I’ll start cruising for loans.
J: I believe in you, darling.
A: Thanks, sweetie. That means a lot. Oh, man, this cake is amazing. Bob really outdid himself.
A: So, Alice . . . enjoying the wedding? I want you to know, I don’t just think of you as the bartender, especially since you’ve never made a single drink for us, I think of you as a guest and a very good friend . . .
*Later that night*
Don: Ah, a solid gold wedding. That’s a good feeling. So what was your final tally?
Arianna: Twelve grand. Just barely enough to cover the bills. I totally should have started smaller on this house.
Don: Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a great start and it’s going to be plenty big for all eight generations. Plus, you’re making great progress on your requirements. Take a minute to relax and rest on your laurels.
Arianna: Thanks, Don. I really appreciate the praise. I have been working really hard. Hey, I noticed Nancy Landgraab is pregnant. You're doing really well on your part, too. Kudos.
Don: Yeah, kiddo, we're well on our way. The Watcher must really be looking out for us.
Arianna: Oh, Don. You know I don’t believe in Watchers. Let’s just enjoy the stars.
Don: You got it, princess.
Arianna: You know, this would be a much nicer moment if you weren’t wearing nothing but your underwear.
Don: I beg to differ, princess, I beg to differ.
*the next morning*
Bob: So then the llama says, “Hey! This isn’t Goopy Carbonara!”
J: Bob, you’re a good man, and a great cook, but that was a terrible joke.
Gardener: I liked it.
Betty: Dad! It’s my first day of school! Load me up with some pancakes!
Bob: ‘Atta girl!
Arianna: So, . . . how are you enjoying living in the dynasty house . . . you?
Gardener whose name I cannot remember: It’s pretty nice! The food’s great, and I have to admire your family’s commitment to education.
Arianna: Glad to hear that. Say, do you think you could stop smashing the children’s dollhouse?
Gardener: No can do.
Arianna: Hmmm. How many days do you suppose are left on your age bar?
Gardener: Got my first warning from Grim just today!
Arianna: Oh, well okay, then. You smash away, friend.
Gardener: Thanks!
J: Okay, I know I came over here to do something, but I just . . . can’t . . . remember.
Arianna: Can you hurry up with those salty llamas, J? I’m running out of jokes, here, and the party is going to end in a few minutes.
J: Right! That was it! Drinks! Drinks . . . How do I make drinks again?
Mitch: J you are seriously the worst Bro ever to bro.
J: Sorry, man, I’m just not feeling so hot. Plus, this bar is totally gross. I’ve got uncomfortable moodlets coming out of my . . . everywhere.
Arianna: Oh, forget it. You’ve been standing there for hours. I’ll just go make some tea.
J: Sorry, baby.
Arianna: No worries, honey. We’ll get there. Why don’t you go take a nap?
Don: So, Dina, allow me to show you where the *real* party is.
*not long thereafter*
Gardener: Oh, gosh! Already? Well, so long folks. Don’t forget me!
Grim: Hello? Anyone? I’m taking your gardener!
Don: (from observatory) That’s okay! He served his purpose! See you around, pal!
RIP Seth Rodrigues (I checked his tombstone). You were definitely a moderately okay guy.
Arianna: Is is weird that we’re doing this right by the gardener’s gravestone?
J: Hey, you’ve got to get ready for work, and I’ve got to kiss my lady. Life goes on. Well, for everyone except him.
Arianna: I guess you’re right. We should definitely move the trash plant, though.
J: Okay, wife off to work. Kids off to school. Out for a jog. It’s good be J, my friends, it’s good to be J.
Bob: It’s good to be Bob.
Don: *sighs* It’s good to be Don.
