This is LONG overdue and I'm sorry I didn't post it sooner. I was just working on another project of mine and planning for the future for this story. As always Sheogorath's wonderful dialogue is done by the amazing Livvielove and you should check out her wonderful story! I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Check out Sheogorath's version of events
here.
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The room was filled with screaming people. Yes, screaming people. Solstice was clutching a necklace in one hand. She had a human hand? How strange. She was just a machine. Machines didn’t feel. They broke. Solstice broke. Solstice could tell the magic had changed as something in her head roared alive. The lightning was back. She couldn’t feel her arm. She didn’t have an arm. Wait. She could feel her arm. Lightning was striking it over and over again until nothing remained but ashes. The lightning was coming to claim her cursed eyes. “MAKE IT STOP!” Her mind calmed for a few moments finally giving Solstice the rest she desperately yearned for. The stranger gently pushed two fingers to Solstice’s head. Or were those claws coming to destroy her even more? Would they tear at her until she was nothing more than dust? The gesture was gentle and fatherly. She wanted to sob. Was this another trick? Was anything good left? She felt as her mind grew lighter slowly. A heavy weight had been crushing Solstice for too long it seemed. Before she knew it memories of hatred slowly faded away until she could no longer recall them again. Stephen. Gladys. Kyle. August. Aurora. Names. Just names that only brought feelings of hatred and anguish, but no memories.
The stranger was screaming as something fell and shattered to the ground. Maybe it was her? Could she shatter? Could she stay shattered? She wanted to comfort the stranger. She didn’t want him to feel pain because of her. She was tempted to reach for him but could only whimper in pain. Lightning was dancing. Fire was dancing. All they left were agonizing scars. Suddenly her mind grew lighter as torture was erased from her mind. It was gone. What was it? She could have cried with relief. Why was he helping her? She was just one girl. She was insignificant. She wasn’t powerful. The stranger pulled a blanket over her, a kind gesture that Solstice didn’t recognize anymore. She wanted to sob. She didn’t deserve this. She was just one girl that was made of metal. She was just a machine. She barely catched the stranger’s words before she drifted into a restless sleep. “I will protect you, Tuiel. I promise.” She didn’t deserve to be protected. She deserved death.
Solstice was awaken by the screams in her head. She couldn’t recall where they had been from or if they even existed. It didn’t matter to her at the point. She waited approximately 5.457 seconds until she opened her eyes to take in her settings. Something was wrong. Her brain was slower than usual. She opened her eyes to see a strange man sitting in a chair, staring at her in concern. Solstice tried to move but couldn’t. She was clenching something in her hand. A necklace of sorts. She took a deep breath and winced. The strange man staring at her had saved her life. She gulped and an apology already formed in her head. The man had risked her life for her. Just her. He had done everything for her and how could she find a way to repay him for taking her out of a nightmare? She started crying without understanding why. “I’m so sorry.”
The stranger’s eyes went wide, his eyes shifting around the room and back to Solstice. She had cost him something. She had ended up costing him everything. That was what had happened. She had ruin this stranger’s life. She-”No.”
The stranger had jerked Solstice out of her thoughts as she stared at him. He looked at her sadly. “Don’t. Don’t apologize.” The stranger fidgeted with his hands while he stared at Solstice. He took a deep breath. “I….I should.” The stranger seemed to have trouble finding the exact words to tell Solstice. Words were deadly and it seemed he shared the same fear as Solstice did of them. “I’m not good at….at conversation. I can’t think fast enough to prepare.” He frowned. “But this isn’t your fault. I’m sorry.”
Solstice stared at him with wide eyes. “Words are deadly. I can’t sa-prepare myself either most days.” She closed her eyes, trying to fight away her fears. Why was this man apologizing? She was the freak. She was the one who he saved. She didn’t deserve any kindness from this man. She couldn’t find the right words to express her thankfulness. She wanted to hug him but that could end up bothering him. She shattered everything she touched. She was worthless. She was dangerous. “Thank you. I k-know you were probably stuck with me. I’m s-sorry for causing you any trouble but I just want to say thank you.”
The stranger gritted his teeth in frustration. Solstice could see in his eyes he was dealing with demons of his own. “You’re not trouble.” The stranger clenched his fists. “No. I mean, you did not cause any trouble. They were hurting you. You don’t deserve to be hurt. So I stopped them.” He nodded his head. “I can answer questions.” He swallowed. “I mean, I can answer any questions you might have.” The stranger tensed. “I...I took your memories from you. They were hurting you. They made a mess and that was wrong. I...I took those memories and made them go away. It’s not permanent. I… I just wanted to help.” The stranger seemed to brace himself for the worse.
Solstice stared at the stranger in a mixture of awe and regret for approximately 10.2345 seconds. He should have left her there. She had not done anything for him. She had ended up costing him something that mattered greatly to him. He had taken away her pain all without demanding a price. She wiped a tear away from her face and sat up on the bed. She stared at him, not able to find the words to express how thankful she was for the stranger. She couldn’t. Words couldn’t express what he had done. She found herself hugging the stranger tightly, unable to form words to express how thankful she was and how sorry she was for causing him trouble. The stranger’s eyes went wide with concern. The stranger hesitantly hugged Solstice. He pulled her off of her feet and ended up letting Solstice rest against him. She was shocked and amazed by the stranger’s kindness. She hugged him tighter and started crying again. He rubbed her back while one of his hands held onto her safely. Why was he being so nice? Solstice didn’t deserve it. “Everything will be okay.” Solstice sobbed as another round of pain hitted her. “I promise. I won’t let you be broken like me.” He was broken? How could the most stable thing in Solstice’s life be broken?
She hugged him tighter, not daring to let go of him.
“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” Her mind hummed with the new information. She needed to say something. She needed to say the thing that had been eating at her. “I think I might have deserved it. You aren’t broken. Broken people don’t feel.”
The stranger stepped forward and kept rubbing her back slowly. It was comforting. He glanced down at Solstice and his expression twisted with sadness. “Some people deserve to be tortured.” He said slowly,”but you are not one of them. You haven’t done anything to deserve that.” The stranger closed his eyes. “I make messes for a living.” He slowly opened his eyes to the wall. “I make messes out of people and their minds. If a person is deserving I break them. If my master orders me, I break them.” He frowned. “You did nothing to deserve this. Nothing at all. We’ll make it better though.” He paused. “I am not good at cleaning messes, but I will help. I think...I think I was meant to find you. I will take care of you.” He let out a nervous breath. Solstice’s mind whirled with information once again. Didn’t she deserve it though? Hadn’t she done something wrong? She wanted to hug him even tighter but she was afraid he would shatter. She wasn’t normal. She wasn’t human, but she was determined to pay him back.
She chose her words carefully. “Thank you. I don’t think you are broken because you know what broken people look like.” A small smile pulled on his lips awkwardly. She stared at him. “You aren’t broken.” She smiled at him even if it caused her pain. Her magic wasn’t working properly and she couldn’t read her mind. For once in her life, it didn’t matter to her. “What is your name?”
He smiled. “Sheogorath.” His voice was surprisingly level. “Sheogorath Keeper.” Sheogorath paused, his face shifting emotions to what Solstice assumed was anxiety. “Your name is Solstice. I learned it in your head.” He stated simply. He frowned slightly,”your magic is still recovering from earlier. You should rest.” Sheogorath slowly stood, helping Solstice and carefully placing her down on the bed again. “You are a mind reader then?” Solstice stared at Sheogorath in awe. She didn’t want to overwhelm him, but she was fascinated by the new information. She asked softly,”Does it hurt for you to be in large crowds?”
“Not exactly.” He paused for a long moment in thought. “I can read minds, but I am not as you are.” Sheogorath pursed his lips, pausing again. “I… I am the son of someone very, very powerful.” He nodded. “Powerful enough that I can do anything with my magic, including reading someone’s mind.” He fidgeted again.“While I… I cannot understand what it would be to have everyone’s thoughts in my own head, I would imagine it would be very painful to be in crowded spaces.” He stared at her now, waiting for her reaction. Solstice grinned. It was a strange thing for her to do after so long. His magic was fascinating and curiosity was eating away at her. “How fascinating. Would that make you Majnun’s son then due to your excess power?” Solstice pursed her lips, surprised. She had never talked much but she felt Sheogorath understood.
Sheogorath appeared to be surprised, but Solstice noticed that his lip twitched into his usual, strange smile. He nodded. “You are one of Fate’s lineage.” He paused. “Yes. I am Majnun’s son with Alessandra.” Sheogorath closed his mouth suddenly, appearing to be afraid of saying her name. He swallowed and frowned. He moved his gaze to the bedpost, staring at it for a long moment before being snapped out of whatever horrid thing he was reliving because of Solstice. His brow furrowed with worry. Solstice nodded, not sure how she felt about being one of
hers. She had never met her before but how evil could the woman truly be if she allowed her family to be tortured for power? Solstice smiled. “So you are Majnun’s son. That must be interesting.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Something was flickering. She needed to get out. Her brain was calculating the nearest magic source and the most logical way to get power. Instead she forced it out of her head for a few seconds. That was all she could do. She would not kill Sheogorath. Not after all he had done for her. "Are... are you ok?" He sat up straighter. He stared at her intensely for a few moments, puzzling over what could be causing her pain. He leaned over hesitantly and touched her hand, his stare unwavering. "What's wrong?" It was all she do not to reach for him and drain the magic out of him until he died. She relaxed as the moment passed.
She shifted awkwardly. “Sorry. It is just something that happens every now and then.” She knew it did. She knew that something in the past had triggered it and something terrible had happened. She just didn’t know what it was. It seemed to dawn on his face why she couldn’t remember. Solstice knew too and she was okay with that. “You… don’t need to apologize to me.” He hesitated. “For anything.” He took a deep breath.. “You can ask me questions.” He paused suddenly, gathering his thoughts. “I’m here to help you.” Solstice took a deep breath and fidgeted with her hands.
She spoke quietly,”I don’t think I’m ready to know what happened in there.” She sighed with relief. She usually wanted to know everything about every situation to be prepared. She had learned that not every person’s thoughts could tell you everything. Solstice stared at her hands, embarrassed by the question she wanted to ask him. It was childish. She took a deep breath and met his red eyes filled with concern and kindness. “Can you sing to me again?” Her voice shaked, something that she hated. She wasn’t suppose to be childish, Sheogorath had already done enough for her.
Sheogorath’s eyes became wide. Solstice was afraid that she had ended up upsetting him and was about to apologize when he spoke. “The… the song from earlier?” He paused and smiled at her. “Mother used to sing that song. It made me feel better when I was sad.” Solstice smiled. “I… am not Mother, but I can try.” He stood up and adjusted the chair closer to her. He held her frail hand in his own and closed his eyes.
“Hush my little swallow,
the winter seems so long.
Curl up my little angel,
and listen for spring's song.”Solstice felt herself relaxing as she closed her eyes. He slowly rubbed her hand with his thumb, a gesture that was fatherly to Solstice. Not that she had ever known what was fatherly or not, she had never had the chance to really meet James.
“The darkness can surround us,
and take away the light.
But you shall fly us forward,
yes, you will end the night.”Solstice felt herself drifting into the comforting darkness that no longer seemed to haunt her with Sheogorath near.
“Hush my little swallow,
spring is around the bend.
The dawn is coming quickly,
you have brought on winter's end.”Solstice’s final thought before she finally fell asleep was that no matter what happened, she would repay Sheogorath. Even if in the end it killed her.
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Solstice jerked out of the bed, her hands shaking. She was perfectly fine. Her hands reached for the doorknob, noting that it wouldn’t turn. Why wouldn’t it turn? Solstice then noted the electricity flowing through the room, the current dim but still there. She frowned. She felt more alive than ever, why was she locked in the room? Solstice eyed the windows suspiciously. She needed to get out of the room, she needed to find
it. She needed
it. Solstice reached for the windows, trying desperately to get out of the room. The windows wouldn't budge. She needed out. She needed to find it. Solstice paced back and forth in the room, her head unable to comprehend what was going on. She felt fine. She felt more alive than ever. Why didn't he understand? She needed to find
it. He clearly didn't understand. He would have let her out then. Solstice held onto the doorknob, pulling with all her strength and it still wouldn't budge. He had done something to the door. When pulling on the doorknob didn't work, Solstice start punching holes into the door. She needed out. Why wouldn't he understand? After a while, when she was tired of punching holes into the door she started screaming. "Let me out Sheogorath! Let me out!" That still didn't work so she kicked the door in between punching it. She wanted to kill him. He was only a few meters away. He was so close. He had
it. She would kill him for
it. "I will kill you, Sheogorath!" She needed it. She had to kill him. There was no option. She would have to find
it or everything and everyone she loved would die. He clearly didn't understand. He didn't care.
Sheogorath was at the door in a minute and his apology formed in her head.
I’m sorry Tuiel. Suddenly a spark of electricity hit Solstice as he opened the door and then closed it behind him, sealing him inside her. Solstice scrambled to her feet, as he slowly held out his hands in front of him. He paused for a while, unable to think of what to say in those few moments before it came to him. “Everything will be ok, Tuiel.” Solstice stared at him suspiciously, not understand the words he was saying. All she sensed was power. That was all there was in the end. Power. She needed power. She hissed under her breath, her hands clenching into fists. “Give me it.” She hated him. She hated him more than she had hated anyone in her life.
She gave him a few seconds to respond before lunging at him, clawing at his face as she tried to reach the door. Sheogorath let her fight against him before he shoved her back firmly. He held her tightly at arms length, his fingers holding her shoulders.
I’m here to help you. You’re safe with me. You’re stronger than this. I’m here for you. The words repeated in his head over and over again. He had a remote. That is what he had, he had the remote. She needed the remote. Words started tumbling out of her mouth, a dam bursting open at the last moment. “You were
never there for me. You were never there for her. You left a note and ran off, thinking you were better than her. I found it and I hope she kills you. I hope you die an agonizing death because you deserve no less and far more. Have you ever considered maybe she isn’t the ‘monster’ but you are? No, you didn’t. You were so caught up in being the savior for everyone that you had to twist them and make sure they stumbled. I hate you. I hate what you did.” Solstice hugged herself while she shaked back and forth on the ground. “Don’t lie. Don’t try to. I know what you all think. You are all just waiting for something terrible to happen to me and you aren’t trying to help me. You don’t care.”
“You’re safe with me, Tuiel.” He hugged her tightly and started to hum to her. This wasn’t the person she thought he was. Solstice started to sob bearing her head in his shoulder. She was suppose to be strong. She was suppose to have her thoughts collected. She was suppose to be sane. In the end, she failed. She always failed. Another sob escaped her as he hummed. Suddenly Solstice found herself relaxed as the need for
it dulled. Sheogorath started singing.
“Hush my little swallow, the winter seems so long.” He rubbed her back gently, slowly letting her take from his magic - his power.
“Curl up my little angel, and listen for spring’s song.” He continued humming.
She stared at him with big wide eyes. “I’m not good enough. I’m never good enough.” She hugged him tightly, afraid that he would tell her to let go. She didn’t want to. For one moment, she just wanted to rely on him before having to wake up again. Everything that was right was wrong. She was confused. Utterly confused.
“Everything… is ok.” He spoke slowly to her. “Everything… will be ok, Tuiel.” Her brain instantly started searching for the meaning of the new information. It wasn’t something that she told it to do, it just acted on it’s own when it was working correctly it appeared. The meaning of Tuiel was a combination of “strength” and “daughter” in Nymph, the language of the supernatural beings that lived in castes and were assigned into them in order to earn their wings. Solstice hugged him tighter, knowing that she had been looking for her father in the wrong person. Had James saved her from death? No. Had he tried to comfort her? No. Had he asked about her or had he ran off to find her mother to blame her? He ran off. Her arms tightened around Sheogorath, not caring for a few seconds that she wasn’t human. Her brain scanned through Nymph, looking for what Solstice could use to express who this wonderful person was in front of her. Ada, the word “father” in Nymph. James had never been her father nor had he ever tried. In the small time she had known this man he had done more than James had done in Solstice’s life. She didn’t know what words that she should string together to try to express what she felt. She didn’t know. What if she did more damage than good? She said the words hesitantly hoping they didn’t offend him,”Thank you Ada.” It was all she could manage and it was the few words she knew were the truth
His eyes became wide briefly, causing Solstice to wonder if she had said the wrong thing. What if she had offended him? Suddenly he was smiling and Solstice couldn’t help the small one that came onto her face. “Don’t...You don’t need to….to thank me. I’m...here to help you. I will be here to help you. You….” He focused on piecing together what he wanted to say. “You won’t have to...do this alone. I promise.” Solstice’s eyes widened. She had always been told to be strong. She was always told she would go through it alone, whatever it was. No one had offered...no one had thought to. It was confusing. She wouldn’t be alone? What if she ruined his life though? What if she destroyed her Ada like everything else?
Suddenly her doubts were coming out of her lips. She wanted to tell Ada everything, everything that she remembered that troubled her. “What if I accidently hurt you, Ada? What if I do something stupid?” How had words been so difficult to summon but now came so easily? She had no idea how he would respond. What if he decided that it wasn’t worth ruining his life for Solstice? What if he saw her like everyone else did? What if she was too much of a mess to be put back together again? Solstice stopped the questions coming to her mind, waiting anxiously for Ada’s response. She was scared, no, terrified.
He smiled at her very gently. “Don’t worry about that.” He paused, collecting his thoughts. “You won’t hurt me.” He paused once again.“So long… so long as you want me to, I…” His face became firm as he focused on putting together the words. The more he spoke the harder it seemed to be for him. “I… would like to help you - s-so long as you wish for it.” Solstice felt even more tears starting to fall down her face. It seemed all she did these days was cry. She could never go back to her family. She would accidentally kill them. The truth deep down was, did she want to go back to them? They had all been choosing their words carefully around her, knowing she would not be with them for long. They had always made sure to never get close to her and it seemed like they were waiting anxiously to see what terrible thing happened to her. She spoke quietly, “Can I stay here? Can I stay here with you?” She looked up, desperate for his approval.
He nodded. Solstice knew it was easiest for him that way. “You can stay for as long as you’d like.” With the hand he wasn’t using to support her against him he closed his fist and conjured a cloth. He handed it to her so she could wipe her face if she needed. “I… I’m not sure if you’re aware, but you… you have a power addiction.” He paused.“It is not your fault.” He took a deep breath in. “That is… is what you felt tonight, isn’t it?” Solstice knew that something was off. She just needed to find
it. ”Everything will be ok.” He reassured her. “I can… I can help you.” Solstice was tempted to sigh, relieved. “D-do you trust me?” Solstice took a deep breath in as her brain processed the information. Power addition. Power addiction? That sounded right. Her brain searched for information on power addictions as Solstice felt her hope begin to wear thin. When she looked up she saw the only steady thing in her life, the only sane thing when her world seemed to be drenched in insanity. It was laughable that she didn’t trust him. She trusted Ada more than anyone else. She nodded. He could help. Ada would help, she saw the determination in his eyes.
The question was clawing at Solstice. “Why sacrifice your happiness for me, Ada?”
He frowned slightly at her before shaking his head. “I am not sacrificing my happiness.” He looked at her seriously. “Why-why would you think I… I am sacrificing my happiness?”
Solstice frowned, willing whatever memory was trying to make it's way back. "You went somewhere for something, I think revenge. I know I probably wasn't in your original plan, but thank you Ada." Solstice felt exhaustion kick in, as the pain of the day before rushed back to her. She hadn't noticed the pain before but she was far from perfectly healed. She felt her eyelids growing heavy as she tried to keep from falling asleep on Ada.
“Plans change often.” He nodded. “Revenge could wait. Saving you could not.” Solstice found herself nearly falling asleep and catching herself from it. “Don’t fight the sleep, Tuiel. You are safe with me.” He paused. “I promise.”
Solstice nodded and she remembered saying only a few words before she fell asleep, leaning against her Ada. “You are the kindest person I have ever met. Thank you Ada.” Ada started humming again as Solstice was finally allowed to get a few moments of sleep.
