So, here I still am, I did not die. Apparently that youth brownie has some sort of curative powers because the rash went, and I live to tell the tale, As I do, a lot, down at the bar. I took to hard liquor for a while, to numb the pain over Jordan....
But I realised that I won’t find happiness at the bottom of a “Granny Smash” glass (although the empty glasses do sell for $489, which is frankly ludicrous and somewhat encourages me to drink more)!!
Anyway, I have cut back a lot, and taken up yoga, which is quite honestly not as much fun, but I do have to think of my figure and the influence on Barney. So, it’s going great and I’ve even started having friends over to practice with me :
Shocking news, which almost sent me running back to the “granny smash”, I heard strange fumblings coming from Barney’s room, and, having knocked (gently, obviously) I stormed in, to be greeted by THIS SCENE :
OH GOOD HEAVENS!!!! I thought I was preventing all mishaps by only allowing him a single bed, and locking my door, and keeping the spaceship (don’t ask, it was Jordan’s) in an enclosure, but he still appears to have begot an heir! In the CLOSET
And with Linda from next door?
Oh the shame!
Barney seemed totally in denial, but I had a strong word, and now he seems to have got the message at last:
He confronted Linda and she initially suggested that it was “carb bloat”, hmmm :
But eventually she admitted she was preggers, and of course, being an honourable man, and he assures me that he truly loves her, he popped the question and she said yes (no kidding!) :
With no time to lose, I laid on a bit of a spread and shot gunned them straight up the aisle. I suggested she might like to go for a princess line dress, but not our Linda – she pouted that she was proud of her bump :
So, the ceremony went off without a hitch, Barney insisted on inviting all the old fogey neighbours, I tried hard to smile through it all :
It seemed like only hours later, I think they might be telling fibs about their dates, but Linda was whisked off to the hospital, Barney took family leave from his job as a computer boffin, and was with her all the time :
The third generation of our family, an adorable little girl was born at 7.02pm on a Tuesday. Barney was photographed running away, shame on him!!
Of course though, no son of mine would shirk his responsibilities, and soon enough he was back and cooing at his daughter. Only a mother would notice the look of regret and lost opportunities that flashed across his face:
They brought her home and.... oh my goodness, being a mother is great, but being a grandmother... well, words can’t describe how wonderful it is, perhaps this photo will show my feelings, forget shame, there's only joy :
Welcome to the family darling “Sookie Garland” generation 3 of my ever growing family.
