The Green Witch Legacy -- Margaret Green

[Hallucination]

This is so great! The introduction especially, with the Hut, was brilliant! Chas is adorable. Is the update title "This Update Sucks" a reference to Psych?

Can't wait to read more!

Well, I can tell you this: it'll get a much worse name in the next update. And actually, let's say that it is a reference. I didn't think of it at the time, but I like that.

[Hallucination]

I Do Revenge Weirdly

The next day and night were boring and entirely wasted because Chas slept in too late. I'm gonna show you what happened anyway.

First, Chas had some sort of vision, apparently. Hopefully she's sensing a cornrowed baby in the near future, 'cause otherwise we're going to have a problem.



Then she practiced violin while being all Proper and dainty-like by sticking out her pinky finger. OH! And in case anyone is curious WHY I write these at 3am, as I mentioned in response to Lisa46's comment, it's because that face gives me nightmares and I can't sleep. Any humor in these is a coping mechanism.

Just kidding! ...Or am I?



MOVING ON! I played with her witchy powers for the first time. And because I am easily distracted by colorful and shiny things, this was the highlight of my week.





I'm completely in love with how ridiculously expressive Chas is, but I promise I'll pretend to try to not talk about it after this.



She and Snakeskin went on a date at the festival.



Wait, what? No, wait, I swear, they were totes romantic! WHERE ARE THE NICE PICTURES?!?!



Umm... Well, this one definitely falls in the "debatable" category, but we'll try it out.



Long story short, they're now romantic interests. I tried to go for dating, but Snakeskin has Commitment Issues because of course he does. I bet Underwear Lad didn't. *grumble, grumble* So I settled for him moving in.



I did a few expansions to account for Count McCornrows moving in, but this picture is obsolete. As the title of the update states, I do revenge weirdly. Like, really weirdly. And sometimes weird vengeance requires a few purchases.



Meet the first level of Zac Whipsnake's personal Hell:

Jubel,



Misty (I believe I can fly!),



Hardimos,



and Boo.



The box owned by an adult-diaper-wearing kitty is no longer the stuff of legend! BEHOLD! THE CAT BOX!



Ahem.

Also I made him repair a sink.



Anyway, unspeakable things occurred in the shower the night SsMc showed up. Music was heard and innocence was lost, etc.



Zac is an awful human being. Dude, your lady-friend is vomiting! STOP WATCHING CAT VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE!



He did pull this face afterward, though, so I forgave him. For now...



The toilet may not forgive Chastity, though.



Anyway, a few hours later, Chas spun around like a ballerina becoming a pregnant ex-ballerina.

Um, maybe just ignore that last sentence.

Selling teenage girl Sims on abstinence must be pretty easy, though. If you get pregnant, you'll look like this!



Well, in conclusion, these people should not be legacy founders. But I've already adopted four cats, so The Dope and The Chinstrap can't make things much worse. I hope.

[Brooke.]

Oh, god, stop making me laugh so much! (No, really you should continue  )

[Malley]

And because I am easily distracted by colorful and shiny things, this was the highlight of my week.

I totally understand 

[Hallucination]

Oh, god, stop making me laugh so much! (No, really you should continue  )

As long as you sign the waiver when my lawyers (read: imaginary friends) finish writing it.

I totally understand 

It always sounds embarrassing when I admit to it, but.... PRETTY!

[Hallucination]

Revenge 2: The Revengening

So I did a tad more building because Chas is going to be knocked up for forever, pretty much, and that generally results in children.



Misty isn't happy about it. Also I think she's a demon, so that's weird. And the whole goiter thing, that's weird too.



I'm glad I got the cats, though, and not just because Zac has to clean the litterbox twice a day. Mostly 'cause Boo and Misty are BFFs and it's kinda adorable. OH! And Boo looks like the Cheshire Cat, by the way. I'll post proof soon. Because the public deserves to know. It's like Jesus Toast that way.



Zac is working on his career (Cooking) mostly. Partly because we need money and partly because I like to envision him wearing a separate hairnet for each cornrow.



Chas is a good cat-momma. I think she'll be a good person-momma too.



...As long as she doesn't continue to stare into the middle distance whenever she interacts with the baby.



Snakeskin is being about as sweet as a wadhole like him can be. He does spend time with Chas, he just looks nauseous while doing so.



Seriously, though. Take the initiative, man! A PREGNANT LADY SHOULD NOT BE SUPPORTING THE WEIGHT OF A GROWN MAN!



If anybody's wondering why I'm still giving Snakeskin so much crap, it's because 1) there are nine levels of Hell (according to Google) and 2) he keeps turning Chas down and then doing stuff like this:



Color me infuriated. (I think it's a shade of puce).

But back to the important part! I think we're all pretty excited to see Chas's labor-face, aren't we? Here ya go:



Just take it aaaall in.

Anyway, I think the pain went to her head and left her delirious, because she rode her broom, which I'm starting to suspect is powered by manic smiles, to the hospital. Snakeskin C. McCornrows was too busy... chef-ing to take her.



To his credit (and the increase of my boiling rage), Snakeskin sprinted over as soon Chas reached the hospital.



And 8:51pm, the proud parents left, with a blue slug named Philip Green in tow! I named him that so I could call him Pip. And, um, for other, legitimate reasons. He's Hydrophobic and a Couch Potato. Just a winner from birth.



He's all smiley and stuff. It's disgusting.



The parents, weirdly proud of their procreative prowess (because all parents magically forget that stupid people are really awesome at popping out babies too), decided to make Philip a sibling, because they don't value their sanity.



Well, the last bit of news I have is that I forced Zac to go steady with and propose to Chastity. Also Misty has to pee.



.....



.....

NO! GO AWAY, FEELINGS! NOBODY LIKES YOU!

[Lisa46]

Revenge 2: The Revengening

NO! GO AWAY, FEELINGS! NOBODY LIKES YOU!

I love you

[Malley]

He does spend time with Chas, he just looks nauseous while doing so.

I'm not sure if Chas should be complimented or insulted by Snakeskin's nauseous face 

Color me infuriated. (I think it's a shade of puce).

Who says you don't learn something new everyday 

[Brooke.]

Aww, little Pip is a darling.

[Hallucination]

I love you

*bows*

I'm not sure if Chas should be complimented or insulted by Snakeskin's nauseous face 

Who says you don't learn something new everyday 

Honestly, neither do I. But I do know that it infuriates me, so I'm mostly gonna focus on that.  Also, I do know who DOESN'T say that: people with bad memories. You can tell them that there's a type of jellyfish that lives forever every day, and every day it'll blow their minds.

Aww, little Pip is a darling.

He's so smiley it makes me a little uncomfortable. I think I'm allergic to joy.

[NexttoNormal]

Just started reading this story; really hilarious so far! The cats are awesome, and Pip is adorable. And Zac Snakeskin doesn't strike me as the most caring boyfriend or father, maybe another nooboo will make him a little better?

[Hallucination]

Just started reading this story; really hilarious so far! The cats are awesome, and Pip is adorable. And Zac Snakeskin doesn't strike me as the most caring boyfriend or father, maybe another nooboo will make him a little better?

Thank ya kindly! The cats are super weird, but I love them despite (or rather for) it. Also, Pip is incapable of frowning. I swear. Snakeskin is an okay father. I don't think I can ask for much more given that I'm building nine levels of hell for him. He hasn't much motive to cooperate. And I'm hoping he'll get better with Chastity. She's always popping wishes regarding him. 

[Hallucination]

Look Over There! A Squirrel!

Still here, are you? You were supposed to look for the squirrel, but you're just so smart, AREN'T YOU?!

Ahem. Sorry.



Snakeskin and Chastity have different parenting styles. Snakeskin whispers death threats in the ear of his infant son, Chas can cuddle him without nausea; everybody's different.



I mean, she's still nauseous, but pregnancy is a good excuse.



Now let's get the sad part of the update out of the way, because my capacity to handle emotions is very limited. Misty, Boo (not pictured because he was my favorite and I didn't have the presence of mind to photograph his death), and Jubel all passed away. I think the deaths of these virtual cats was harder on me than some deaths of real people.





I was so not ready for a graveyard of natural deaths this early.



Now we're going to move on because I almost felt things and I'm not okay with that.

To console Chas (because she was Jubel's BFF and also I don't like watching a pregnant woman cry), we adopted Jezebel. LOOK AT 'ER WIDDLE FACE!!



*hums the Jaws theme*



I actually managed to learn half a lesson and, as you can see, adopted a kitten this time. Then I decided this left Snakeskin free of major suffering, so I made him marry Chas.



TAKE THAT, SUCKA!

Anyway, shortly after that I sent Chas to change her and Pip's last names, as they'd been changed to McCornrows Whipsnake. It made me rethink the placement of my house.

*insert epic-journey-montage music*



Hmm... What else happened? Um, Zac read some cookbooks.



I learned that Pip would rather be an only child.



Hardimos adopted Jezebel, which was adorable.



And then nothing really happened until Pip had his birthday.



And no, you don't get to see his face. Why? I'm not sure!

Regardless, this prompted Chas to traumatize her firstborn by birthing her second child a yard away from him.



Everyone, welcome Margaret! She was born, an evil slob (yay?), at 11:58 pm. Not as dramatic as midnight, but I'll take it!

[Trip]

Aww, not animal deaths.

But yes for making Snakeskin suffer the pains of commitment and children!

[Malley]

Best chapter title ever.

Snakeskin whispers death threats in the ear of his infant son, Chas can cuddle him without nausea; everybody's different.

*Hands out Parents of the Year award*  Well done guys!  The nooboo made it to the toddler years