The Green Witch Legacy -- Margaret Green

[Hallucination]

Founder: Chastity
Enter the Players
This Update Sucks
I Do Revenge Weirdly
Revenge 2: The Revengening
Look Over There! A Squirrel!
Stalker Mode: ACTIVATE
Spiderman and Morgan Freeman
Margaret Green

[Hallucination]

Enter the Players

This is Chastity. She is a witch, and lives at 1005 Pomona Promenade, in Appaloosa Plains. Her traits are Dramatic, Family-Oriented, Virtuoso, Childish, and Proper. She wants to be Surrounded by Family. Chastity also hates me, or will soon do so if she has any brains at all.



This is one of Chastity's only possessions. It is a violin and an awful investment. Chastity will be playing it for tips instead of getting a real job because the first generation of any legacy should be about raising an obscene number of children in a cardboard box. And not a classy cardboard box, either. A gross old one that used to be the hideout of an incontinent elderly cat.



This is the Hut. I feel it warrants a capital letter. The facilities are inside, because I need her to pop out some babies and if she's "that lunatic who pees in an exposed toilet by her mailbox", finding a willing mate gets a lot harder.



So I sent her off on her broom (which spouts glitter why exactly?) to take a cooking class and another in handiness, because she's gonna need to be able to make mac and cheese and unclog her BargainToilet.



Then I sent her to stalk out the neighbors. Calvin Riffin was the only one home, and although they were attracted to each other, they didn't deal with it the same way.





Calvin: LADY CREATURE IN HOUSE!!!

Chastity: I don't love this wallpaper...

After that, they played tag. Chastity managed to look weirdly dignified. Also, shouldn't Childish and Proper conflict? I feel like they should...



Chastity's ADD is apparently worse than mine, because she randomly popped a wish to go to the park three seconds into their game of tag. I decided to indulge her and sent her to the Performance Park because it was the first park I saw. There, the Marshalls were being adorable and Barrington and Juanita were being less so.



I set Chastity to practicing violin because there were no potential spawning-partners. She likes it. A lot. Someone hold me.



Juanita started cheering for her, but I think it's because she saw Chas's demon eyes, not because she was moved by the horribly out-of-tune rendition of "Hot Cross Buns".



Chas went home after gaining her first level and half in the violin skill, and proceeded to dump salt on a wedge of cheese and some flour.



Then she ate it on the toilet while stabbing herself in the gums with a spoon. 'Cause she's classy like that.



Once she'd cleaned up, she proceeded to pass out dramatically because I discovered the interaction she was exhausted. She finally put on her curtain-pajamas and went to bed, and I was free to explore the town.





I've been left with one very important question. Where is the water coming from?



I don't think this is going to go well.

[Malley]

Your storytelling is too funny! I'm looking forward to reading more about Chastity's adventures in Appoloosa Plains

[KRae]

I'm enjoying your humor. Did you roll for traits? I would think that childish and proper would conflict too. Oh well, family oriented and virtuoso can be very useful.

[Hallucination]

Your storytelling is too funny! I'm looking forward to reading more about Chastity's adventures in Appoloosa Plains

I'm glad you like it! Although I'm thinking there might be more awkward floundering than adventuring with Chastity. I love my Sims, but she's a dope.

I'm enjoying your humor. Did you roll for traits? I would think that childish and proper would conflict too. Oh well, family oriented and virtuoso can be very useful.

Thanks! And yeah, I did roll. Admittedly I rolled twice because the first time I got traits I was really familiar with, and I'm trying to micromanage less in this file. But hopefully things will go okay with the very probably weird traits the family will end up with.

[Hallucination]

This Update Sucks

First, I have to show you a picture because Chastity is the cutest, dopiest Sim I've ever had.



So anyway.... I'm not sure what to do with this first chunk. So I'm going to summarize the events and show you the very unhelpful and confusing screenshots I took. First of all, Chas woke up at six and was immediately sent to a house that I was about 5% sure had a guy living in it. (It was the wrong house, but there were still potential spawning partners, so I had her stay.) First of all, a teenage girl who social services should get out of that house greeted Chas. Then she went in, saw a guy in snakeskin pants and another napping in a brightly-lit room wearing only glasses and his underwear, and decided NOT to run away. Underwear-Lad ran off into the night once I woke him up, so Chastity proceeded to introduce herself to the other one. They had a rousing discussion about poultry limbs, and then I sent Chas home.













Anyway, the result of it all is that Chas is going to marry Cornrows (or at least have his babies), and, because Underwear-Lad was a jerk, I Chastity stole a hedgehog.



No, really. Its name is Winter because that's what I rolled. (Mr. Prickle-Butt seemed a bit too on the nose.)

When she got home, Chas ate lunch and promptly began living up to her Dramatic trait as she histrionically declared she was starving. Why no, that's not in the wrong order.



Chastity then proceeded to do about three chores in nine hours. ("The efficiency!" she exclaimed snarkily. )

Anyway, to stop this from being a boring, run-of-the-mill picture "montage", I'm going to set it to "Eye of the Tiger".

Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive



So many times it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive



It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
Stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger



*whatever sound a .mp3 file makes after being stabbed*

Well, no more Survivor for you.

Anyway, Chas invited Zac(k) over (at 10:30!!) and attempted to romance him.



Up to a point, it worked.



And then it didn't.



Whatever, they're still going to end up together. Some pillow-fighting patched up the hit to their relationship, and Zac(k) took off at about 2 am because this is a totally normal courtship, you guys.

Chas retired to her lair and calmly ate a dinner/midnight snack/breakfast.



She would yet seduce the one known as Snakeskin McCornrows. She would win. She always won.



MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

... Hmh. That got weird.

[Tipi]

Snakeskin McCornrows was the spouse of my founder in one of my dynasty attempts (not documented). He is awesome so good luck with your legacy.

[Malley]

Great spouse choices  Oh that dramatic trait! Diva is another entertaining one.

[Trip]

Somehow, this topic got stickied and I blame my clumsy fingers for it.

Regardless, hurrah for another legacy of yours and finding a good babydaddy/maybe spouse.

[Lisa46]

This is hilarious!

[Hallucination]

Snakeskin McCornrows was the spouse of my founder in one of my dynasty attempts (not documented). He is awesome so good luck with your legacy.

Always good to have a positive testimonial! I hope he cooperates... And thank you very much!

Great spouse choices  Oh that dramatic trait! Diva is another entertaining one.

Well, it couldn't be Calvin Riffin because of the siblings and Underwear Lad ran away, but all the same I like Snakeskin McCornrows. I haven't used either Diva or Dramatic much. I'm loving Dramatic so far; hopefully I'll role Diva at some point too.

Somehow, this topic got stickied and I blame my clumsy fingers for it.

Regardless, hurrah for another legacy of yours and finding a good babydaddy/maybe spouse.

Are you suggesting it isn't worth stickying?! I am AGHAST, I tell you, AGHAST.  Thanks! I'm crossing my fingers for spouse just in case they pick up some celebrity points, but if he turns out to have Commitment Issues (note: I know exactly zero of his traits at the moment) I'll be far too lazy to bother.

This is hilarious!

Thank y'all very much! So far I've written these at about 3 am. I wonder if they'd still be entertaining if I wrote one when I WASN'T exhausted?

[KRae]

Sometimes being overly tired shuts down your filters and lets you be totally goofy. We, your readers, benefit.

[Brooke.]

A gross old one that used to be the hideout of an incontinent elderly cat.

I'm a goof for re-reading this several times because it makes me laugh so much! 

[Hallucination]

Sometimes being overly tired shuts down your filters and lets you be totally goofy. We, your readers, benefit.

I'm glad to have you regard it as a good thing; I was worried I was just writing "CRAZY" on my forehead.

I'm a goof for re-reading this several times because it makes me laugh so much! 

Then I'm a goof, too, because I'm very proud of that line! I'm so happy you got some laughs out of it.

[azokka361]

This is so great! The introduction especially, with the Hut, was brilliant! Chas is adorable. Is the update title "This Update Sucks" a reference to Psych?

Can't wait to read more!